Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Hump Day Challenge! Myths, Legends and Fables!

In honor of my unexpectedly winning poem last week, I open the floor to the Big Stories, the ones who earned their staying power back when the best entertainment center was a big fire to sit around at and maybe, if you were lucky, a small portable harp.

"Oh no! Promoothius!"

All verse forms are welcome and encouraged, and my notions of myth are broad. I've depicted Greek myths here because of their invaluable invention the small portable harp, but any culture's stories are fair game for poemification, including ours. Slapping some fable-y framework on some modern ideas is a good way to go, as in the old standard The Honda and the Camaro.

The crowd watched in wonder as the Tortoies's magical ass froze the Hare in mid stride...

And don't forget Fables! Those snotty little stories about animals who might possibly wear clothes and hang out in combos never found in nature.

And the turtle said, "Hey guys, I know where to get food! Let's eat the rat."

As an added bonus subtopic, I just saw the new Clash of the Titans recently and either version of that movie is always good fodder for discussion. Whether it be the old classic:

"Plan A better work because I don't know what I'm doing with this sword right now."

Or the modern version from last year:

Feh, screw that movie. Here's the Tron chick instead.

Start typing, people! Maybe they'll be singing what you write around a fire someday! (Okay, probably not, unless it's in some post-apocalyptic wasteland, but that can be cool too!)

20 comments:

AC said...

delicate question
love the uncle remus tales
so am i racist?

HandsomeStan said...

Roll, roll, roll the rock
Almost...there...stay on target
Fuck me. Roll, roll, roll...

(1 comment? WTF happened yesterday? I'll try to go bananas today. I hope there's an extended deadline...)

HandsomeStan said...

I'll take that fire, thanks
Humans, enjoy your warm S'mores
Don't really need guts

HandsomeStan said...

(Okay, I just scrolled down and saw the Lego Robot Nightclub post. Now I understand. And that club is fucking AWESOME.)

JPX said...

Can't read the bible
Could never get past page 2
Long, boring fable

Delicate question
Favorite ride is Spalsh Mountain
So am I racist?

JPX said...

I must confess that
The Lord of the Rings movies
Are too long for me

Liked them at the time
But if I watch them again
They will be shorter

50PageMcGee said...

there once was a greek god named Bacchus
who threw sex and wine parties, quite raucous
then the Doors came along
and stirred up with song
throngs of perv hippies to mock us

Octopunk said...

For Favorite Greek Hero I'm filling in
Theseus: Minotaurs just make him kill again
But my favorite part's when
He stole a girl's heart then
Ditched her on an island like Gilligan

Johnny Sweatpants said...

There was a cool god Dionysus
Women and wine were his vices
He’d preach ecstasy
His penis was wee
But he’d always keep cool during crises

Octopunk said...

In myths mortals frequently sob when
Gods bitchslap those trying to rob them
Dionysus said "Yo,
That chick is MY ho"
And Theseus shrugged, said "no problem."

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Then there’s the legend of Dennis
Whose neighbors had deemed him a “menace”
He’d eat all the grub
Then fart in the tub
While old Mr. Wilson played tennis

Octopunk said...

Think about it! There's a big horde
Of myths having warnings ignored
There's always the crime
Except for this time
I wonder if he was just bored

Octopunk said...

Right? Because after he'd kissed her
It seems to make sense that he missed her
Or else here's the scheme:
Claim a god in a dream
Said ditch her and get with her sister

Catfreeek said...

Medusa was once a great beauty
to Poseidon she gave up her cootie
but they picked the wrong place
Athena messed up her face
What a big price to pay for some booty

Catfreeek said...

Paul Bunyan was a great big man
who wielded a great big axe
He hung around with and Ox named Babe
whose as blue as a sailor's sac
His legend tells of many things
the big man was a hero
but I have always been curious
why his love life was a zero
perhaps the man was somewhat shy
or has issues with cleanness
Maybe he just scared them off
with his enormous penis

H-Town said...

Goddess Athena
Was the best weaver
For her skill she was known
Along came Arachne
Called her shit hackneyed
Arachne now calls a web home

Johnny Sweatpants said...

The things I would do
If I wielded Bunyon’s schlong
I'd achieve world peace

AC said...

greek gods tho potent and famous
behaviorally were quite heinous
they did as they pleased
but i'll bet they were teased
cuz grandfather's name was "uranus"

Catfreeek said...

Dennis tub bubbles
his Mother had it all wrong
released the Kraken

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Phish mythology
Gamehenge - what's it all mean, man?
Dunno, pass the bong

Malevolent

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