Monday, March 14, 2011

Why was I never informed that there was a 1994 made-for-TV movie about Madonna?



From dlisted, Terumi Matthews, star of the 1994 TV movie Madonna: Innocence Lost. I don't remember much about the cinematic wonder based Madonna's life story that played on FOX in 1994, but I do remember that it did exist and it mostly awful. I also remember that Terumi Matthews reminded me of my substitute French teacher who drove a yellow Miata and always told us how people would regularly mistake her for Gloria Estefan. This is the same substitute French teacher that told the class that she was a major loser nerd in high school because she had a frizzy fro, wore glasses and had braces. Meanwhile, there's me with a frizzy fro on my head, glasses on my face and braces on my teeth. If only I had raised my hand and asked her how to say "CUNT" in French.

What I'm getting at is that Terumi really needs to top her performance as Madge by starring in a FOX TV movie based on the life of my substitute French teacher who pretty much had a creepy shrine to Gloria Estefan in the trunk of her Miata.

And no, there will never be a good enough answer to the question: Why didn't Terumi Matthews go on to have a career greater than Madonna's? I mean, behold this riveting scene where Terumi accurately portrays Madonna's HATE for donuts:



You failed at donuts, you failed at life." Truer words have never been spoken.

P.S. - If you need more of this poetic theater, it's on YouTube in its entirety.

5 comments:

DKC said...

Wow. I was going to say, "I have to watch this!" But that clip just changed my mind.

Octopunk said...

She failed at donuts!!! I now retroactively hate all her music.

Catfreeek said...

Hahaha, what a find! I never heard of this either.

Whirlygirl said...

I saw this. I was a Madonna fanatic. I remember being so excited when it aired, but I can't remember a thing about it. I have to watch it again.

Jordan said...

All TV biopics are terrible.

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