Saturday, December 03, 2011

Octopunk's Best of Horrorthon 2011


Man, what a contest this year! I am SO glad we imposed a deadline, otherwise I'd be living with guilty pressure for months to come, and maybe the whole year. Looking at the month I'm embarrassed to note that of my 26 movies I only posted 7 reviews during actual October. And then that crazy 15 review weekend... sorry about that. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read such a dense text bomb.

I was only able to finish because I did NOT write my reviews in the order in which I saw them, something I've rigidly stuck to since I've been a 'thonner for no reason I can think of now. It was way more fun to write the review I was thinking about, instead of grinding through the next one no matter what. Then I even posted them out of order and the world didn't explode, so I'm blowing that system off for good. It just slowed me down.

And, for I hope the last time this year, I have caught up on comments again, going back to 50P's Trollhunter review.

Now, the brass tacks:


All-Around Favorite Movie: Monsters, with Trollhunter coming in as a close second.

Best Hidden Gem Movie: An honorable mention to Homebodies, but the winner is Gorgo for the sneaky trick of being one of the best of its genre.

Worst Movie: Blood Beach, hands down. I'd say they just tied a camera and microphone around a dog's neck and called it a movie, but that would be unfair to dogs.

Best So Bad It's Good Movie: Saturn 3, which was just relentlessly unintentionally silly.

Most Disturbing Movie: Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman because that ghost was just so damn random and mean. Honorable mention to Let's Scare Jessica to Death for its offputting weirdness.

Goriest Movie: Piranha 3D, with a respectful nod to Zombie

Scariest Movie: Black Sabbath, thanks to the Gritted Teeth Lady. Aaaah! She's here!

Best Looking Monster: I thought about the humongous Jotnar troll from Trollhunter and the brain critters from Fiend Without a Face, but the winner is Gorgo, for being everything you could want in a rampaging monster and still looking somewhat original.

Most Memorable Death: The chick whose hair gets tangled in the boat propeller in Piranha, because it culminates with all the skin from her upper lip to the top of her face being ripped off. It's not even clear that she dies, but having one's face skinned is... yuck.

Most Avoidable Death: This is a tie. There's the person in Zombieland who pranks somebody by pretending to be a zombie and the idiot in Jeepers Creepers 2 who plays with the unconscious Creeper's wing that's sticking through the roof of the bus.



Hottest Hottie: How come nobody's picking hottest hotties? Honorable mention to Samantha from Monsters (actress Whitney Able, top), but the win goes to 50s cutie-pie Kim Parker, whose short film career graced Fiend Without a Face.

Thanks for another great year, folks! I'll do a post shortly about voting for some favorites.

One more thing: I watched seven movies this year as a direct result of being recommended by other 'thonners:

JSP: Zombie and Homebodies
Cat: Black Sabbath and Idle Hands
DCD: Let's Scare Jessica to Death
JPX: Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman and Trollhunter

They were ALL winners. We're going to do a pregame recommendation powwow every year.

Gorgo demands it!

7 comments:

Catfreeek said...

Fantastic wrap, I've enjoyed reading all your reviews. As a fellow monster lover, I have gingerly placed Gorgo into my queue and plan on basking in the glory of his rampage with a tub of buttered popcorn and two begging cats staring at me(the other two don't care for popcorn).

This really has been the funnest Horrorthon yet, I think your countdown to the event at the end of September got us all psyched up for it. You know you have to do it next year too, right:)

Octopunk said...

I'm looking forward to it! I figure I have a several months to figure out some new "contests," although some were worth doing again.

Popcorn cats! I dig it.

Crystal Math said...

Sweet wrap-up! I'm already composing a list for next year!! :-D

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Great wrap up Octo! I agree that imposing the deadline successfully brought closure. It only took us 8 blog years to figure it out!

I'm still outraged that you overtook me at the last minute. One day I was in a comfortable 4th place behind Abduscias Cat & JPX and the next thing I know you blew right by and Crystal caught up. I won't fall for that one again! I loved combing through your final 3 day outburst though. I printed the reviews out and read them leisurely.

Thanks for taking us up on recommendations. I definitely intend to do the same next year, starting with Monsters.

JPX said...

Excellent wrap-up and excellent Horrorthon this year! As SJP noted, it only took years for us to get it right but we're closer to perfection than ever before.

I'm so happy that you enjoyed Trollhunter as much as you did. Once I saw that giant troll at the end I knew it would be love at first sight with you. I'm also pleased that you continue to cover all the old "monster" movies, a genre that I know little about. I think Gorgo will be on my list next year.

Nice review dump over Thanksgiving weekend. I still haven't read them all (or all the reviews from everyone this year). I haven't calculated final totals yet but I believe collectively we watched about 350 movies, wow!

Catfreeek said...

SJP=Sweaty JohnnyPants, lol

Anthony J. Langford said...

Kim Parker was very cute. Only a five year career. What happened? Very little info around other than she filed for divorce when 25.

Malevolent

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