Thursday, October 05, 2006

Final Destination 3

(2006) **

The task of reviewing a mediocre movie is even less desirable once it has already been reviewed.   JPX's warning about FD3 came a day too late for me and I was left with no choice but to watch it anyway.  His words rang true; no valid argument can be made to recommend this film to anyone for any reason.   The first movie took a nifty new idea and executed it adequately.  FD2 boasted a spectacular opening sequence but little else.   Part 3 offers us even less.   

This time around, the opening tragedy takes place on a Satan-themed roller coaster called "Devil's Flight".  To ensure that the audience is all on the same page, an enormous devil statue whispers to the people waiting in line "You can't escape your destiny!!"  Huh?   Did that really just happen?   Sorry, can't confirm, no time to rewind.  But by now, we know the drill.  A girl has a premonition of a catastrophe; worried people exit the ride, the roller coaster crashes, those who were "scheduled" to die get killed by random accidents.    

The rest of the movie consists mainly of cheap thrills, close calls, hoo-dee-doos and shoo-bee-dees.   They seem to think that they have very clever winning formula on their hands which is to a) mislead the audience into thinking a character will die a certain way, b) spare the character that particular death with a narrow escape and then c) suddenly kill the character in an entirely different way.  Pfffft…  

They do make an attempt to apologize for their lack of ideas with a prolonged topless tanning booth death scene.   While I appreciated the effort, it wasn't about to tip the scales.