Thursday, May 08, 2008
The 6 Creepiest Comic Book Characters of All Time
Posted by JPX
Some heroes fight for truth, justice and the American way. Some heroes fight for revenge. These guys here? These guys fight to get laid with underage girls and to make the universe a creepier place.
Here are the six comic book characters sure to create an immediate urge to shower.
#6.Comet the Super-Horse, from the Superman comics
Creepy Because: Bestiality.
Comet is Supergirl's pet horse. At first this sounds really cute, because girls love horses. Although, there is this book we once read in the Cracked offices called The Naked Ape that teaches us that girls like horses because riding them is the closest activity to non-threatening sex they can have. Not so cute anymore? Yeah, wait until you read how creepy it becomes with a stalker Super-Horse involved.
You see, according to the comic, Comet was once a centaur called Biron back in ancient Greece. He was turned into a full horse by a witch, though as a small consolation, he gained superpowers and kept his humongous horse penis.
Also, Comet periodically turns into a full human, at which point he does what any horse would do: Try to get laid with Supergirl before she can figure out he is really her horse.
You see, the horse is in love with the girl who, while he's in horse mode, dry humps his back as a means of transport. Comet never makes his feelings known and thus allows this arrangement to continue, much like those "nice guys" who orbit around a girl every day doing her favors, while complaining endlessly in their LiveJournals because the girl doesn't pay back their niceness with a blowjob.
And to make the whole thing even more unsettling, he is a super-horse, which zoologists tell us adds at least six inches in length and one in girth.
See the rest here
at 5:04 AM