Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The 8 Least Intimidating Gangs in Movie History

#7.The Greasers from The Outsiders

Nothing epitomizes badass street cred like rolling with Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise and C. Thomas Howell. Unless C. Thomas Howell is playing a character named Ponyboy, in what apparently isn't meant to be anything overtly homoerotic.

Following the same gang format that has existed since Shakespeare made it popular, The Greasers fall in love with some chicks from the other side of the tracks and that means someone really wants to drown Ponyboy, which is understandable. Instead the Karate Kid does some stabbing and the foolish gang violence is soon replaced with two skinny boys on the run, both of whom look like they'd lose a boxing match to Hannah Montana.

Then it degrades into burning school house heroics and poetry, along with deeply profound deaths and other assorted girly aspects of gang life that make it seem like semi-organized crime really isn't all it's cracked up to be.


See full list here

6 comments:

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Hilarious concept for a list! Now I have to watch the Outsiders. And also re-watch Young Guns (1 & 2) and the Warriors.

miko564 said...

How could they not include the Sharks and the Jets from "West Side Story"? Gangs dancing reduces their badass cred pretty quickly...(Yes Leroy from "Fame" I am including you)

Landshark said...

Yep, great concept for a list, lame execution.

Aside from the Jets/Sharks...

Special K/Ozone/Turbo from Breakin'

The Wolverines from Red Dawn

The Three Muskateers version with Oliver Platt and Chris O'Donnell...seriously, there is such a movie.

JPX said...

"Special K/Ozone/Turbo from Breakin'" Excellent! I just watched those films last year and thought they were hilarious (in the "so bad it's good" hilarious).

Octopunk said...

For my part they should have included the unnamed gang from Friday the 13th 3D. Granted, they have their asses handed to them by Jason Voorhees, who's no slouch at ass-handing, but they espouse the same kind of ridonkulous "street" vibe as the turkeys from Short Circuit.

JPX said...

Good call, Octo!

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