Monday, June 30, 2008
An open letter
Dear 1980s high school picture girl,
You have no idea how much I loathe you. Not a day goes by where I don’t eventually stumble upon your homely visage. I never know when it’s going to happen, but eventually you always end up popping up and disrupting my day with your ugly-ass glasses, your clown nose, and a haircut that can only be described as looking like the tip of a circumcised penis.
Barber: What’ll it be today?
1980s high school picture girl: “Give me the penis”
Barber: “Circumcised or uncircumcised?”
1980s high school picture girl: “Circumcised, please”
Barber: “Will do!”
Believe it or not 1980s high school picture girl, I don’t care whether or not you became a model. I don’t care to know anything about you. All I know is that you probably weren’t getting any in high school due to your penis haircut and glasses that can most likely be seen from outer space.
If anything, your picture is the number one reason I’m not curious about people from high school. I have never met you but I hope you are somewhere being unhappy. I hate you.
Things didn't improve for 1980s high school picture girl.