The Vampire (known on television as Mark of the Vampire)

(1957)

On his deathbed a dying researcher gives small-town doctor, Paul Beecher, some mysterious pills whispering a cryptic message about their importance. Paul can’t really make out what the old fart is saying and he doesn’t seem all that interested anyway. Later that evening Paul experiences a tremendous migraine and when he asks his young daughter to fetch him some aspirin she mistakenly gives Paul the strange pills. Paul is puzzled when people begin dying in his rural community with all the blood drained from their bodies. After some research into the dying researcher’s research, he learns that the old man was attempting to invent a serum that would enable the modern brain to revert back to its primitive urges (?). Paul finds out that the particular pills he ingested were made from the blood of vampire bats and he begins to suspect that he is the one committing all the killings.

The film is called “The Vampire” but Paul resembles a werewolf more than a vampire, a really ugly werewolf. I mean, look at him,


Why are you running away from me?!


"Because you're grotesque!"

Being an ugly vampire must be a tremendous disadvantage given that the vampire’s modus operandi is to seduce, not repel, prey. It also can’t be good for the vampire’s self-esteem. An ugly vampire would be as effective as a penis-less Chippendale dancer. With his grotesque Neanderthal hands and misshapen, Elephant Man face, Paul would have better luck attracting a meth addict willing to do anything for a score than an attractive lady. Also, Paul doesn’t sleep during the day like all good vampires. Instead he periodically transforms when he’s in need of another fix. Paul is more like the Hulk than a vampire, without Lou Ferrigno’s gorgeous abs.

Sure it’s a silly plot but like The Return of Dracula this was 77 minutes of old school horror fun. The two actually come on the same DVD and I highly recommend checking them both out if you’re in the mood for a creature double feature fix. As an aside I think it would be fun to compile a list of all the mad scientist movies along with their specific agendas listed.