Fu*k you Wayans brothers.
You are everything that's wrong with music and the world in general.
Stop dancing like an ass and get a job, hippie.
I hate every little thing about you.
When you're in line buying scratch tickets in front of me I want to strangle you.
You've wasted your life.
60 comments:
In the check-out line
Don't pay with a fucking check
It makes me hate you
So you like to talk?
Don't use your cell phone near me
It's just obnoxious
Teenagers texting
While I'm trying to watch a film
Makes me think, "Kill-spree"
I can't watch baseball
Not for reasons you might think
I hate the spitting
I get distracted
By the pitcher's OCD
Just throw the damn ball!
The Red Sox's dumb coach
Always chewing tobacco
And of course spitting
Please don't shit at work
We have just one bathroom here
I don't need your stink
Slow moving people
Who are walking as a group
Unable to pass
Don't you just despise
"Flo" from the Progressive ads?
Condesending bitch
Who watches bowling?
There's really just one excuse -
You're lobotomized
Being held hostage
By people discussing sports
Is my greatest fear
smug people irk me.
have ALL your shit together?
somehow i doubt it.
Use the frickin' stairs
If you're going up one floor
Or else face beatings
Fucking hate Wal-mart
my reasons are far too deep
for just one Haiku
Underpaying drones
subbing work to third world schleps
killing local stores
Corporate ass wipes
sacrifice humanity
for self-serving greed
Kiss my large white ass
I hope you suffer the worst
known case of herpes
Even worse then that
Pharmaceutical fuckwads
drugging all mankind
The Prozac nation
Provide pablum for masses
turned into asses
Their goal to create
A nation of mindless drones
who line their pockets
The Walmart "greeter"
Always gives the worst greetings
Born without a brain
George W Bush
Fuck you, you fucking fuckwad!
Yes, I have issues!
Stupid Octomom
Soon, reality show whore
dumb acts rewarded
Our tax dollars give
wellfare cases name brands goods
and plasma tv's
I'm just warming up
My favorite pastime to
Stick it to the man!
Christian children's fund
I'd like to see just how much
goes to those children
The film industry
Too many movie remakes
no unique ideas
Credit card offers
killing trees to send spam mail
that just gets thrown out
Endless commercials
So thankful for DVR
fast forward, bye Flo!
Why not legalize
Pot and prostitution too
now tax free business
Hate whining people
who refuse to help themselves
total waste of air
Should I warn people?
Beware angry white women
bearing many cats
elevator farts
couldn't hold it ten seconds?
somehow i doubt it
kick me off the blog
excessive public cleavage
should be illegal
serial killers
not sure what they contribute
get a real job, guys!
People who shout-sneeze
They do it for attention
I will not bless you
AH-CHOO! what was that,
jpx? i didn't hear,
was sneezing so loud
The Fox news channel
Just a bastion of hatred
Dumb people watch it
Remember Miko?
He used to post all the time
What happened to him?
He pulled a "Jordan"
Disappeared without a trace
I miss those fellas
Landshark's another
'Thon glory days behind us?
Yes I'm a bit hurt
That wasn't a rant as much as a whine JPX. Still there's some serious gold on here thus far! Stan won't likely contribute much as he's on his way to New Hampshire.
New Hampshire is great
If you're into boring states
That offer nothing
entitled people
want their needs met right away
fuck you and YOUR needs
bad drivers irk me
roadhogging multitasking
lethal gretchmongers
About bad drivers
don't even get me started
Rhode Island's the worst
My exit is next
wait until the last minute
zip across four lanes
Turn signal, what's that?
don't want to burn the bulb out
by using it, right
Soccer Mom's revenge
Buy the biggest SUV
then cut people off
Motorcycles with
Obnoxiously loud exhaust
unnecessary
intolerant folks
really get my fucking goat
can't tolerate them
was doing 80
now i'm down to 55
OUT OF THE FAST LANE!
his name's NOT Van GoCK
you're not only dead, dead wrong
you sound like a prick
trader joe's produce
in the store you look so fresh
next day you're rotten
A pet peeve to me
Unfriendly service people
hate your job, leave it
Pointless waste of film
Romantic comedies, ugh
crap for the lonely
What's COPD?
using initials for words
WTF is that!
and maxi pad ads
showing the absorbency
don't need to see that
speaking of such ads
Have a happy period?
yeah, in what lifetime?
People riding bikes
My car weighs 3000 pounds
Get out of the road!
Don't you hate people
Who cross the street extra slow?
My car will kill you
Solicitation
I don't want fucking cookies!
Stop bothering me
Religious people
God doesn't care about you
He doesn't exist
know who shout sneezes?
Octo. Scares me half to death.
Jesus, warn me, dude.
Doorbell is ringing
Jehovah Witness leech
Fuck you I'm Taoist!
Doorbell rings again
Mormon this time, oh great joy!
Come in, Hail Satan!
Tony shout sneezes
JPX tell him to stop
really, I dare ya
Power walking peeps
You know how stupid you look?
Honestly, it's bad
If I warn fifty
Then I will lose the damn sneeze
I really hate that
Here's my fat tax check
I have to pay the postage?
Fucking government
I'm playing Scrabble
Three I's on my tray all game
Wife's beating my butt
The leaves are changing
Crappy New England summer!
Now 8 months of cold
Know it all people
you can't tell them anything
they just chap my ass
Cleaning up cat puke
just why do they overeat
gross & waste of food
Asshole Rush Limbaugh
why does anyone listen
hypocritic ass
now i hate 50
making me laugh out loud with
his "van gock" haiku
i'm no fan of cat
getting ahead of me on
corporate evils
jpx irks me
everything pisses him off
unfair advantage
octo worst of all
aren't you on vacation?
let someone else win
Don't borrow my book
If you intend to crease it
I like my books new
I just can't stand it
When strangers try to converse
Small talk makes me cringe
Van Halen's song "Jump"
Please plunge ice-pick in my ear
And stop playing it
"Hot For Teacher:" good
Everything else: Fuck those guys
Put Hagar to death
Eddie Van Halen
Guitar solo from "Beat It"
His career high point
Used to like those guys
Then, Moment of Clarity
Now I hate those guys
Normal rock stations
Play "Rooster" one more time. Please.
Fist through the dashboard
Same Songs for Shit Heads
Radio destroys music
Over and over
"Brown Eyed Girl." Really?
Favorite song? You should not breed.
Contamination.
mr ac sez:
technophiliacs
incessantly weblogging
read a fucking book
the pedestrian
stepping in front of my car
the sign says don't walk
in hot yoga class
people sweat prodigiously
next time, shower first
hornets, wasps, and bees
i have no tolerance for
insects that sting me
hipster baristas
too cool to make coffee drinks
most are just posers
Loud restaurant folks
Laughing it up like assholes
disrupt my dinner
Worse yet cell phone chats
how rude to chat at table
while guest just sits there
and bathroom piddlers
spraying pee on the clean seat
you're why it's so gross
Unhappy people
always sending their food back
want to spit in it
Really bad tippers
Laughing over waiters grief
hope karma finds you
Fucking Van Halen
"Right Now"? No, Sammy Hagar.
Not now, not ever
I am an asshole
I like teams with jerks on them
I am Yankee Fan
City full of them
Like a big zombie attack
But shithead zombies
The team wins a lot
Don't change the fact that they all
Look like asshole cops
Jeter eats babies
A-Rod rapes bunny rabbits
Or so I've been told
people who brown-nose
are totally full of shit.
great topic, johnny!
and fuck close talkers
most of them have some bad breath
get outta my space
those arm whackers too
honest, I'm listening to you
stop hitting me jerk!
So I have this friend
Who laughs loud like Smokey's Mom
might have to kill her
Those Verizon ads
Who is that chump in glasses
get off my network!
A bit of advice
Clean the fucking shower drain
I won't touch your pubes
You are in my way
Driving or walking slowly
Push you off a cliff
I'm glad you're jogging
But go to a path somewhere
And put a shirt on
Gym guys: annoying
Gym guys on phone in gym:
Should be castrated
Glad you're working out
But don't fucking talk to me
I'll spot myself, thanks
Oh no here he comes
Rather be choked by barbell
Than talk to shitheads
Sitting on a plane
Stranger starts talking to me
Turn my iPod up
Saying you're 'vegan'
Just tells me that you have an
Eating disorder
Morning dog walkers
your not cleaning up the poop
I know, I saw you
The faux hawk hairdo
it's like a dunce cap for men
lowers their IQ
hey, my 4 year old nephew has a faux-hawk. he looks rad.
He's a 4 year old
not the same on a grown man
go from rad to bad
A great parking place!
Never mind, it's handicapped
Lucky jerk cripples!
"Still trying to get
Pizza from your toaster?" NO!!!
Nobody does that
Deep thought devoted
To what groups I would kill off
First: Ninja Bike guys
Fundamentalists
You've got to be kidding me
You're the next to die
Jesus, loud tailpipes
Both wrong for many reasons
Hell hath special place
Oh, Carl's Jr. Ads
I'm as vile as the next guy
But you gross me out
munch mic inside mouth
meant to be hot and sexy
i need delousing
congratulations
you cast a chick with huge tits
i'm still not hungry
to be crystal clear
it's not the boobs that bug me
gratuitousness
Sprite - hypocrite fucks
you say "Image is Nothing"
celebs pitch your drink
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