Thanks for the win last week! It was an exciting one for me. This week, I'd like us all to contemplate the stuff that makes life good. Or at least forgettable enough that it all fades into a hazy blur and who cares if it's good.
While discussing this subject as potential material, Octo remarked that JPX might feel left out. But just because we're discussing drugs doesn't mean we have to stick to illegal drugs. Let's not forget about these:
I'm sure JPX has mucho experience with the effects of pills of all kinds.The rest of us might not have much experience beyond the basics:
But we do have our imaginations. And plenty of real life celebrity examples:
So let's get crackin'. Eh, so to speak. Haiku humpers, have at it.
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Prozac cures the blues
But there is one side-effect
Your penis won't work
Sure Zoloft can help
You blues will evaporate
But you'll become fat
Anxiety meds
Are a temporary fix
Very addictive
i'm such a lightweight
had one mojito last year
got a hangover
drinking a whole beer
makes me unfit to drive, and
very silly too
once in a great while
a glass of red wine is nice
but my face gets flushed
(and mr ac sez)
one gin soaked olive
gives my wife ac a buzz
can you say cheap date?
the silver lining:
a designated driver
for all occasions
I like the green drug
But I don't have enough green
To buy it lately.
(mr ac sez)
at my first dead show
jerry became a rainbow
hmm... something i ate?
Zack is an addict
For the infant Tylenol.
We dose him often.
I'm a lightweight too
Give me two glasses of wine
I'm out for the night
Drugs? No interest
I hate it when people say,
"I get high on life"
From what I can tell
The only thing AC drinks
Is tons of water
In California
The grass really is greener
And more powerful
I'm the real "light-weight"
I drink 12 "light" beers per night
And then I gain "weight"
What to tell my kids?
"Had a GREAT time doing drugs,
AND talked to God." Nope.
Please, kids - don't do drugs
You just may laugh your ass off
Or speak with Nature
I'll have some of those -
You say they grew on cow poop?
Drugs are just awesome
Can't participate
As great as this topic is...
I'm too hungover
Marijuana blues
That's called an oxymoron
Or so I have heard
MDMA trip
Pure, blissful euphoria
What's there not to like?
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
The Beatles indulged
Coffee's not a drug
Please stop saying that it is
It's embarrassing
Watching the walls breathe
Listening to planets move
Must be LSD
Mushrooms & acid
Things that aren't good on pizza
But are good in head
Jameson whiskey
Let's just cut the middle man
Shoot it in my veins
Why do the junkies
So often turn to Jesus?
It irritates me
Can't smoke anymore
Got tired of the whole world
Coming after me
Can't trip anymore
On three separate occasions
Found meaning of life
Can't drink anymore
Getting too fat & depressed
Oh wait - yes I can
can't participate
as great as this topic is
i'd lose my license
No more drugs for me
Except booze & sometimes herb
Oh, and heroin
Yay a topic where
I'm the resident expert
what was I saying?
It's your brain on drugs
No it's a fried egg you ass
dumb analogy
drugs don't fry your brain
short term memory is gone
not fried just toasted
Drug induced antics
make for great stories after
just can't remember
We took some acid
solved all the woes of the world
no one believed us
I can't say why though
but maybe our views were warped
by floating colors
I put to canvas
painting on acid is fun
the results are strange
Took too much acid
and I tripped for 2 weeks straight
the world is surreal
Once upon a time
Stan and I went to strangeland
somewhere in the woods
The people were odd
high five after each sentence
Native rituals
I've never done crack
known some people who have though
sold their soul for rock
Biggest drug pushers
Pharmaceutical comp'nies
just want our money
Drug ads flood tv
with pills for all our ailments
just so convenient
Side effects? No sweat!
There's another pill for that
just keep paying us!
Alcohol is fun
but hangovers are the pits
so I don't get drunk
Herb is still so nice
but don't give in to munchies
or you'll pack on pounds
coke makes you feel great
until you realize that
you've spent all your cash
Heroin is bad
too addictive and pricey
renders you useless
Acid and shrooms, fun!
but you can't function on them
like being a child
Getting older sucks
No more of those fun pills now
just blood pressure meds
Cocaine's dangerous
On the other hand it's great
What would Space Ace do?
All this druggie talk
dredges up some memories
where's my hookah at?
JSP and Stan
one line we'll never forget
I am the Captain
Halloween Parties
Drug and drink were abounding
funnel shots out back
Next day clean up sucked
bits of costumes everywhere
what was I thinking
Freaky yo girl says,
"Yo, got any roaches, yo?"
Why'd she want roaches?
After hours Showcase
smoking weed in the theater
with the manager
After hours cell store
smoking weed in the back room
I'm the manager
Monday agenda
get stoned, watch the Maxx and Raw
call Christine for food
Drugs can do wonders
The only things that can make
Phish tolerable
Weed makes you lazy
or perhaps you just don't care
if the chores are done
Coke drives ambition
but you spend all your money
on getting more coke
Booze loosens you up
but it makes you act foolish
and forget your name
Psychedelics rule
but your unable to work
so life is a waste
Crack, crank, heroin
all addictive to a fault
waste your life away
E gets you wound up
but the let down is the pits
tired and used up
Just goes to show you
that there is no perfect drug
unless you count sex
My cats like drugs too
they roll around in catnip
it must feel so good
I'd like a drug that
makes me want to roll in it
say, where's that catnip?
(mr ac sez)
this drug must be best
thinks the patient to himself
it's on my doc's pen
brownies left around
carelessly;little sis ate
two, got high as kite
Underage drinkers
Always give themselves away
with lame fruity drinks.
"Sex on the Beach, please.
Tee-Hee-Hee." Just you wait, Slick.
Pink puke all over.
Damn that Octopunk!
"Make some brownies for the flick!"
So high. Couldn't move.
Where's the drug that will
motivate me to clean up
and do my laundry?
Damn the side effects,
I'd be interested in
that miracle pill!
Drunk driving dangers
you think your driving okay
your on the sidewalk
Driving while your high
Going home, good tunes, relax
Where the hell am I?
Driving on acid
this is just a bad idea
chasing the rainbows
While in high school band
I made hash brownies for fun
Mr.Waite ate some
LOVE DCD's spin
"Hold my hair while I throw up...
Long Island Iced Tea, please!"
Dad let me sip beer
When I was 8. Hated it.
How WRONG I was.
Alcohol ruins
Your ability to count syllables in one line
Long Island Iced Tea is 5
If
There's one thing that's great about all of you no no seriously seriously shh shh...
It's that you don't care...about rhyme structure
Yeah...5-7-5
I got it, no worries, man
Chew gum. Watch for cops.
Brilliant ad campaign
"Zima beats Breathalyzer"
I SO believed it
People who say that
Alcohol is not answer,
Ask the wrong questions
J. Sweatpants pass out
Too drunk to move to his bed
Teabag party now?
I love being drunk
It makes me so so sexy
And better dancer
Many beers in hand
Give me karaoke mic
I am a rock star
Check my Facebook pics
Public humiliation
But I love it so
Give Zack Tylenol
Let's see what he can offer
With those typing skillz
Drink red, drink white, calm
Fermented grey cells bathing
Friends talking deeply
i was gonna post
had a real great ku lined up
but then i got high
Helping drunk cross street
He starts to protest. I bail
Then his pants fall down
Drinking in New York
Is absolutely the best
I really miss it
My drinking days peaked
In the fair town of Berkeley
Whiskey on the deck
Xmas oh-seven
Marcela's party, pink drinks
I was past my peak
Shut up Johnny Sweats!
Caffeine's an important drug
You can add sugar
I can't drink coffee
But I like frappuccinos
They're caffeine sundaes
nintendo's a drug
bliss, reclusiveness, no sleep
just like heroin
snorting crushed no-doz
faster uptake, longer high
menthol's a bitch, though
thought it was doobie
turns out i was smoking sage
'least my place smells good.
last three overdue
didn't notice the late hour
you'll never guess why.
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