Thursday, May 06, 2010

Archie Challenge: Garage Sale

Archie should pay more attention to how he says things


Here's another Archie Challenge entry of mine from 2004. (And here's an explanation of Archie Challenge if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

Archie and Jughead are helping Mrs. Andrews with the Riverdale Charity Garage Sale; which is just getting set up. "Normally I wouldn't want to work on a Saturday, Mom, but since it's for a good cause..." Mrs. Andrews hands Archie a list, "make sure you go to every house on the list, boys, all these people called and said they had stuff to donate." They get into a Riverdale town pickup truck and start off. As they pass the entrance, they see Betty nailing up streamers. "Looks good, Betty!" says Arch.

The first stop is Big Moose's house. He's walking out the door with a pile of giant sweatshirts in one hand and a ball in the other. "D-uh, hi Arch!" says Moose, "here's my old sweatshirts and medicine ball!" He empties both hands on the boys, knocking Archie to the ground with the medicine ball and reducing Jughead to a pile of sweatshirts with a pointy hat. "D-uh, I'll go get the bowling balls now!" says Moose, and lopes back into the house. "These will make some nice blankets for somebody!" says Jughead as he loads the sweatshirts into the truck. Just then Moose sticks his head out the door, "Uhh, hey Archie! Betty is on the phone for you!" We see Archie on the phone inside (out the window is Jughead, fumbling with an armload of bowling balls), and a zig-zag split panel of Betty on the phone. "Archie! I'm glad I reached you! Remember those old Captain Punchout comics you used to love? There's a huge box of them here, and the prices are great!" "Captain Punchout?!" exclaims Archie, "I'll get there as soon as I can!" Archie races outside. "Come on Jughead!" he calls from the driver's seat, as an annoyed Jughead is sitting on a rock, sweating and exhausted.

Here the strip moves into fast forward, as we see the boys making all their stops. Mr. Weatherbee is standing in the door of his house, dabbing a tear as Jug and Arch load a patchy moose head into the truck. He's saying "goodbye Bruno!" Next they're standing outside with Dilton, loading a computer, a chemistry set, a human skeleton, a frog preserved in a jar, and a stuffed porcupine into the truck. "Interesting thing about that porcupine..." starts Dilton, but Archie says "sorry, Dilton! I've got to get to the garage sale!" We next see Archie talking with Big Ethel. (Behind them is the truck, with the passenger side facing us. Right behind the cab, some framed pictures of Jughead have been loaded into the truck. Jughead is peaking out over the edge of the passenger side window, drops of sweat flying off him. The expression on his face is the same as on the picture right next to him.) Ethel is saying "I'm just letting you have some of the smaller ones -- tell Jughead I'm sorry he couldn't come by," "Sure Ethel!" says Archie, "well, gotta go!"

As they're driving away, Jughead says to Archie "what's the big deal about these comics? I thought you only read those when you were a kid!" "That's true," says Archie, "but I just loved them so much back then. I even got one issue autographed by Buster Kane, the artist! I just gotta see what's in that box!" As the truck pulls up to Veronica's house, Archie says "here we go, last stop on the list!" Jeeves, standing in the door, says "oh yes, the donations. Please meet me by the garage." Archie and Jughead go over and see a couple of boxes and a pair of skis leaning against the garage. "Great! We'll load this stuff in no time!" Then the garage door opens, revealing Jeeves and Veronica and a huge pile of stuff. Veronica's gesturing at the pile like Vanna White, while Archie and Jughead are knocked over with surprise.

Finally we see the pickup truck, with tons of stuff in the back, pull up to the Riverdale Garage Sale. As Archie gets out, visibly tired and dirty, Betty is right there. "We'll unload the stuff, Archie, go look at the comic books!" One panel of Archie running in the background, while in the foreground people happily shop. He sees the table marked Comics, and Reggie standing there. "Hey Reggie! Do they have any Captain Punchout comics left?" Reggie holds up a comic book, smirking. "There's just one left, Arch, but I think it has your name on it!" We get a close up as Archie takes the book in his hands, and right there on the cover it says "to Archie Andrews, my biggest fan, Buster Kane." Right then Mrs. Andrews looks over Archie's shoulder, "Oh yes, your old comic books! They've been very popular today!"

Cut to the Chock'litt Shoppe, where the gang is trying to console a very glum Archie, his sole remaining issue sitting on the table. "I can't believe my mom sold my comic books!" says Archie. "Come on Archie, it's not so bad" says Betty, "you made lots of money for charity today." Jughead looks up from his burger "yeah Arch, you only read those when you were a kid anyway. Like these rugrats." Archie looks up and sees that every kid in the shop has got their noses in one of his old Captain Punchout comics, reading along excitedly. He stands up and says "you're right, guys, this way these comics can entertain everybody, rather than sitting in a box." He looks over at Pop Tate, who is putting Bruno the Moosehead on the wall. "Hey Pop!" he says, "I've got something else for the wall!" The last panel is much later, with two kids sitting at the counter, animatedly talking to Pop. They're talking about their own comics on the counter and pointing to the framed, autographed Captain Punchout on the wall behind him. The end.

7 comments:

Catfreeek said...

I left you a message at the bottom of the HHD post:)

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Hahaha! That made my day, Octopunk! You totally nailed the Archieverse. Everything from Moose's "D-uh" to the barely inspired name "Captain Punchout".

Paul Castiglia said...

You nailed it so well that it's actually quite close to published stories that I, Fernando Ruiz and several others have written for Archie over the years! :) Nice job.

And now for some plugs: Archie is supposed to start re-releasing the "Archie's Weird Mysteries" series I wrote in paperback form at some point - not sure exactly when - but figure sometime within the next 12 months. Also, if you like horror-comedies at all (like "Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein" be sure to check out my blog-to-book project at http://scaredsillybypaulcastiglia.blogspot.com

Johnny Sweatpants said...

It's an honor to have you stop by our humble blog Mr. Castiglia!

Octopunk said...

Seriously! What a compliment.

I checked out his blog and it's... reviews of horror movies! He sticks to the classic horror/comedy genre, but still, what are the odds?

I'm going to comment on his stuff when I've got more time.

So cool! This made my day.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

The more I think about it, the more I feel I need to legally change my name to "Captain Punchout".

JPX said...

Great story, by the way, you nailed the characters! My only criticism is that it's almost too good =)

Malevolent

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