Monday, October 29, 2007

Teenage Zombies

(1959) *

“People aren’t interested in anything good, they don’t know and they don’t care. Just give them garbage!” (Teenage Zombies director Jerry Warren)

For “teens” go water skiing and stumble upon an uncharted island (how could an island so close to homeland be uncharted?). After the four whippersnappers party, and by “party” I mean drink some root beer and discuss various nerdy things, the gang finds that their boat is gone. A brief search leads them to an ominous house. After coming in contact with a mad doctor (female for once!), she informs them that she never saw their boat nor does she own one.

When she is unable to get rid of these meddling kids who insist she must know where their boat is, she imprisons them. She then reveals her “research”, turning the world into zombies for no apparent reason. The four eventually (and easily) escape after some minor ass-kicking they turn mad scientist lady into a zombie using, yep you guessed it, her own toxin!

Sigh, this is a bad one gang, a really bad one. No doubt one of you are going to tell me that you watched it on MST3K, but it’s unnecessary, it’s so bad we needn’t discuss it ever again.

1 comment:

Octopunk said...

Actually, I've never heard of this movie.

I must say, JPX, you sure have had a heavy does of thirty-year-old teenagers this year. I bet if you lined up all of the various horrors you've witnessed, that would be the one you'd least like to meet in person.

Can you imagine it? They'd wear button-down Oxford shirts and beach shorts and be followed constantly by the incessant sound of bad surf music emanating from an unseen source. Dancing listlessly to this inane guitar twanging would be the bikini girls, who, despite their high-maintenance hairdos, are meant to have an aura of extreme rebelliousness because they're wearing fuzzy bikinis everywhere. And although you really truly don't want to hang out with them, the constant bikini dancing and talk of "getting kicks" will always make you wonder if you might be missing something...