The Incredible Petrified World

(1957) Zero stars

A scientist is hosting a big party in celebration of his company’s new state-of-the-art diving bell (deep sea submersible). Excited about the potential information that such a diving bell might bring, he enthusiastically talks about another parallel expedition that is currently taking place in the Caribbean. Cut to the Caribbean expedition.

“Sexy”, reporter Dale Marshall has been chosen to partake in the Caribbean expedition. We quickly realize that taking her along is going to be a big friggin’ headache when, prior to boarding the diving bell, she makes a few cocky remarks and then tosses her wedding ring into the ocean. Yep, she’s bitter. The others on the expedition include 3 students Paul, Craig, and Lorrie. Yeah, that’s what I would do. I’d spend millions to finance an expedition and then allow three students to handle it. Of course within 1 minute of being lowered into the water by a piece of string the diving bell line snaps and the 4 are sent plunging into the dark unknown of the ocean. Okay, so far so good.

Finding themselves at the bottom of the ocean, the 4 basically give up. I mean like immediately. Meanwhile news of the disaster reaches the ears of the, you guessed it, company that made the other diving bell. Will they be able to save the expedition in time? Yes, yes they will.

At the bottom of the ocean reporter Dale freaks out in hysterics and is quickly slapped back into submission. Looking out the window expecting to see pitch-blackness, Paul is jubilant when he sees light. Concluding that they are not as deep as they initially believed, they don their diving gear and take a swim towards the light. Meanwhile on the surface a sonar dude is shocked to see movement on his radar reasoning that the diving bell should be crushed like a ball of tinfoil at this point.

Our gang follows the light and discovers a sub-sea cavern conveniently lit by phosphorescent rocks, and there’s air to breathe to boot! Incidentally, the cave looks like a cave set you’d find on any episode of Gilligan’s Island. Exploring the cavern they find everything they need, food, water, and a caveman with a really bad fake beard. Mr. Caveman sticks around long enough to explain that he has been living in the caves for 14 years following a shipwreck and notes that air is plentiful thanks to a volcano. Huh?

As everyone settles into this situation the men seek food while the women decorate the cave (I shit you not). Dale, who is threatened by the younger Lorrie, begins picking fights with her. After Dale is almost abducted by the crazy caveman (the poor bastard just probably wants to get laid) and is subsequently rescued by Lorrie, the cat fighting ends and they become bestest friends. Then they’re all rescued. The end.

Boy, now I wish I saved time and just written the following, “Four people get trapped in a cave in the ocean and after a brief stay they are rescued. Along the way the two females bicker and a caveman briefly makes an appearance. Then they are rescued. The end.” There was nothing “amazing” or "petrified" in this film. Avoid at all cost.