Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Haiku Hump Day: Christmas Edition



Merry Gretchmas everybody! Let's do it!

26 comments:

AC said...

merry gretchmas all!
reading haikus, hope i don't
piss myself laughing.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

(They must never know!)
How'd I get pregnant you ask?
Um, um, miracle!

JPX said...

Yay it's Christmas time
I hope I get some good stuff
Socks are not good stuff

nowandzen said...

Forgotten oh no
Mankind benefits from the from it
-Cosmic protection

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Families share gifts
Depressed people kill themselves
It's that time of year

JPX said...

Grandma sends money
I'm buying a box of wine
If she only knew

JPX said...

Where is Octopunk?
He's been gone for awhile
I want all his toys

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Eventually
A Christmas Story gets old
Enough is enough

AC said...

what was i thinking?
next year someone remind me:
don't work christmas eve!!!

JPX said...

It's a white Christmas
But now it's raining outside
Stupid New England

JPX said...

The blog is lonely
Where are the Horrorthonners?
Oh yeah, it's Christmas

Catfreeek said...

Getting ready now
opening presents at Moms
I know I'll get socks

Catfreeek said...

Cats ruined our tree
the ornaments entice them
destructive bastards

Catfreeek said...

Kitties are sleeping
tired from destroying tree
five cats, I'm insane

JPX said...

Catfreek has 5 cats
Which is a sign illness
I will get her help

Whirlygirl said...

It is Christmas Eve
Mom says take grandma to church
I’m going to sleep

Whirlygirl said...

It is Christmas Eve.
Mom wants the fake Christmas tree,
to sell to a man.

It is Christmas Eve.
Where the hell is that damn tree?
She bought it at Sears.

It is Christmas Eve.
No one cares about that tree!
It’s thirty years old.

It is Christmas Eve.
Let’s talk about something else.
A contest, she says.

It is Christmas Eve.
But, I don’t feel festive.
You dress as the elf.

It is Christmas Eve.
I look like a damn gremlin.
It’s to win a car.

It is Christmas Eve.
You are making me crazy!
Then have a rice cake.

It is Christmas Eve.
Where the hell are my sisters?
It’s their problem too.

It is Christmas Eve.
I’m waiting she loudly yells.
Grandmas waiting too!

It is Christmas Eve.
Oh when will you disappear?
Fuck! There’s Christmas too.


Just in case you’re wondering what the above haikus are all about. They are loosely based on a conversation I had with my mother this evening.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

It is Christmas Eve
Whirlygirl's hilarious
Gremlin wins a car?

AC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AC said...

johnny, i am your
biggest fan, but, jesus, please
change that avatar

AC said...

poor gretchen simmons inadvertently blasphemes
hope she never knows

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Ok so as I agreed, I get to pick this week's winning entry. Believe me when I tell you it was no easy task. I almost went with JPX's hilarious ode to Catfreeek but had to disqualify it due to the syllabic error in line 2. Let that be a proofreading lesson to everyone! I also enjoyed Nowandzen's lone entry even though I don't get it.

So this week's winner is Whirlygirl who graciously offered us a memorable glimpse into her bizarre life.

It is Christmas Eve.
I look like a damn gremlin.
It’s to win a car.

Congratulations Whirlygirl! You get to choose next week's topic and also get to judge. As JPX says when his finger is buried in his nose - pick a winner!

nowandzen said...

I agree on the winner, good choice. I screwed up my entry as I did it while having company over but thanks for the mention.

Winter poem fun
Too much Christmas company
Crazy cat lady

: D

Jeff said...

Hmm, I still don't understand my error?

Whirlygirl said...

Thanks for giving me the win, JSP. I'll try and come up with a good topic for next week.

JPX said...

Oh wait, now I see it. Drat.