Monday, December 22, 2008

New Years Resolutions


Has anyone been planning any New Years Resolutions? I never make them because since I’m not a very disciplined person I typically don’t follow them for too long, but when I did make them it was always to quit smoking. Though of course I was always lighting up a moment after the clock struck midnight. Unlike past years, this year I’ve decided to make and keep some. They mostly revolve around vanity. I think it’s because I’m turning 30 next year, which the thought of makes me want to punch myself in the face and set my hair on fire.

Here are some of mine:

# 1, which surprisingly I’ve already accomplished, is to start wearing contact lenses. I have worn glasses for most of my life and I have always despised them, but I have never considered getting contacts because I have a huge phobia of touching my eye, and I have never done so until last week when I went to the eye doctor. I thought maybe after I touched my eye once it would get better, but it hasn’t. It’s actually worse than I thought it would be, and it doesn’t help that I’m really bad at inserting and removing the lenses. The first time I had to take them out it took me an hour. You can only imagine how many times I had to stick my finger in my eye in that amount of time. I think it was one of the grossest experiences of my life. The second problem is that since I’m not used to wearing contacts they make me extremely sleepy, almost like I took a sleeping pill, and they give me headaches. I imagine this will eventually pass. The weirdest thing of all is that I discovered that I actually never entirely knew what I looked like. I’ve had poor vision my whole life, and have only seen myself with glasses, without but blurry, or in pictures, which are never completely accurate. When I look in the mirror now I don’t exactly recognize myself and it’s been freaking me out a bit. Overall, I’m happy that I don’t have to wear glasses anymore.

# 2 (which is a popular one) my lazy ass is going to the gym a lot, and unlike past years when I’ve only said it, I’m actually going to do it this year. This resolution was inspired while watching a young Farah Fawcett who appeared on an episode of the Partridge Family. I watched it with JPX and he’s been laughing ever since I told him.

# 3 Finish writing the play I’ve been working on for years. I’m constantly rewriting it, which I do with everything I write, but this one has annoyed me the most, and I have barely touched it at all this year.

I have few more vanity ones, but I will not bore you with them; instead, I’m much more interested to hear what others resolutions are.   

17 comments:

JPX said...

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions but I am planning to join Planet Fitness since it's only ten-freakin'-dollars/month. I haven't comfortably sat on a beach in many years and just for once I don't want to feel incredibly self-conscious doing so. Along with this I need to learn how to eat better. Living alone for so long has led to bad, lazy eating habits.

I also want to spend more time reading, which I've started to do, and less time just zoning out with television when I get home from work. Finally, I want to step up home improvement efforts. I've been slowly re-doing rooms in my home but at a glacial pace.

AC said...

all i want to accomplish in 2009 is to beat johnny fucking sweatpants at word twist.

Catfreeek said...

AC~Genius!

I don't do the New Year resolution thingy either, seems like a set up for disappointment. However I am slowly reforming my life to get my health in check. 30, hah! I just hit 44 and have realized that my last job where sat on my ass all day has left me with a lot of extra weight and way too many health issues. It's a slow climb but I'm stubborn and eventually I'll get there. I'm now 10+ years off cigarettes and if I could get rid of those godforsaken things I can do anything.

DKC said...

AC, you crack me up!!

I'm not a big resolution person mostly for the reasons already stated. I just don't stick to them. I've been on a pretty good "trying to get more organized" kick lately. I would like to keep that going. It seems to make me happier.

Whirly - what kind of lenses do you have? When I first started contacts when I was in high school I had gas permeable lenses. They were supposed to let more oxygen into the eye but they were basically like hard lenses and I could never get used to them. When I finally got soft lenses in college I was able to do the contact thing. Stick with it!

Julie said...

I like resolutions, but I like goal setting in general. It helps me out.

I think I'm going to count this one for 2009 AND 2008, because it's been tough. But I gave up caffeine and I'm on day three of that. I'm a Starbucks junkie and did not give it up during my pregnancy, although I cut back. And I haven't given it up while breast feeding either. When you meet Zack, you'll see he's almost an advertisement for moms continuing to drink coffee, because he is so mellow. But he takes super short naps, and if we're going to "sleep train" him, I thought no caffeine would give us more of an advantage, and well, I just wanted to see if I could quit.

Yesterday was horrible. I had the shakes, a headache, nausea, and Jeff had to go out and buy me chicken soup. I was a mess. I've been sick for a week, and I actually went to work with a slight fever and managed to just power through most of a cold. But the lack of coffee took this girl down. It was awful.

So now I'm almost through it! Day three! I guess my resolution for 2009 would be to just stay off it. It really did bother me to find out how much my body chemistry relies on caffeine. I've quit or cut down before, but I guess I was badly hooked this time and it truly sucked to get off it.

Resolution two would just be to write. I don't mean write "more" because since kiddo was born, I've written nothing. I won a big prize at school, graduated, and then gave birth, and all creative efforts came to a crashing halt. I did act in a commercial recently, but that wasn't really creative. It did provide a nice check, and let's all pray to whatever God works the best that this thing runs and mama gets some cold hard cash this year.

I don't know if we posted about this, but the ONE writing thing I did was to "audition" for The Daily Show. It was a totally ridiculous time to be trying to put together sketches, because Zack was two months old. But I did it! I had to watch the news over his head while he was nursing, and then I had to write during his naps. And I didn't get the job, but I was so proud of myself for actually putting together a packet of writing.

Since then--nothing, nothing, nothing. And my agent/manager stuff did not pan out at all after the big prize, which has led to bouts of depression that could make a nursing mom take up drinking.

So since I don't have much hope of selling a screenplay this year, I at least resolve to write another one, just in case anybody ever wants to read that "something else" I'm supposed to have. To that end, Jeff and I have decided it's okay for me to leave Zack in daycare for an extra hour or two a couple times a week. He's not really in there for long anyway. And when I get home with him, forget it! He is simply too cute to let me focus on anything else. I figure if I can get some writing done during the day, I'll have complete focus for him when we get home, without that awful, niggling feeling that motherhood just isn't enough to satisfy me. (That's really an awful feeling, but hey, what woman who ever did anything else with her life feels differently?)

The main problem with this plan is that I get my best writing done in coffee shops. Help me, Jesus, even though I don't believe in you. Come on, it's Christmas.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Julie - now why on earth would you ever give up coffee? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. So let's move on. Good luck with the writing. I'd love to read some of your stuff sometime.

AC - Perhaps you should come up with a more realistic goal such as building a rocket ship and flying us all to Mars for a tea party.

Whirlygirl - Ewww. Touching your eyeballs sounds so gross. Does it make a squishy sound?

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I have resolutions coming out of my ears. My main resolution is to finish my goddamn comic book to my satisfaction but that's not a resolution, it's an inevitability. Also I want to run a half marathon which isn't a big deal because I've run that distance before just not in an official setting.

My other resolutions are all inappropriate to share in this forum. For starters I plan on *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* and then *CENSORED* *CENSORED* her *CENSORED* gyrating *CENSORED* walrus.

JPX said...

Is anyone not sick??? Whirlygirl has the flu, the Cross household are all sick with weird things, Miko's home is replete with illness...

I have a mild cold that I caught from a patient but nobody cares.

Whirlygirl said...

JPX, I care that you're sick, but I do care more about trying to figure out how I'm going to go to my cousin's wedding tonight without falling over. I really want to see her get married for the amusement. I've been telling everyone, including strangers, because it amuses me so much and I might as well tell all you bloggers too. My 30yr old cousin is marrying a 60yr old. Before you ask, I'll already tell you that he's not rich, it's love, and he has white hair. I really like the guy and he makes her happy, but Jesus Christ I'd feel like I was kissing my grandfather. There is so much humor going on right now for the planning and attending of this wedding and if only I wasn't sick I could sit back and enjoy it all. It would make a great one act play.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

JPX - how did you catch a cold from your patient? Were you making out?

I'm not sick but that's only because I'm never sick as I eat only local food that was grown within 20 miles of my residence and free range, grass fed blah blah blah blah California blah blah Farmers Market.

Whirlygirl said...

DCD, I have soft two week lenses. They’re very comfortable. Once I get them in, I can’t even feel them. I’m waiting for the contact thing to become a piece of cake, but I’m hesitant to believe that I will ever get used to touching my eye ball. JSP, it doesn’t make a squishy sound, but it feels really slimy and gross. It’s just so frustrating that I keep sticking my finger in my eye and the lens doesn’t come out. I start to have a tantrum, which JPX has witnessed.

Julie, I say yay for giving up caffeine. I gave it up seven years ago and do not miss it. I’m perfectly content drinking decaf. I made the switch because I found that caffeine gave me headaches, and my doctor advised me to cut back because it makes my chest grow. I didn’t have withdrawals nearly as bad as you, it sounds terrible.

JSP, I think that AC has a great goal for 2009, and that you should be revealing some of your censored resolutions.

Julie said...

Caffeine makes your chest grow?

JSP, you can still get viruses even if you eat local grown organic blah blah blah. You must just be lucky.

Catfreeek said...

You never know JSP, some farmer could be out in the field-a-pickin' when he suddenly gets the urge to poop. No time to run back to the house soooooo.....blah, blah, blah...JSP, farmers market...E.coli.

JPX said...

JSP lies, he gets sick all the time.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

JPX lies + smells = poor Whirlygirl.

AC said...

julie, someone will have to tear the peet's mug from my cold dead hand or bury me with it, so anyone giving up caffeine has my admiration.

jsp, don't you find that when you *censored* the *censored* *censored* your *censored* gets all *censored*? or is it just *censored*? i suppose the half-marathon training might help with *censored*.

DKC said...

Best thing to read in the AM is a run of comments that crack me up!

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