Friday, November 19, 2010

The House Where Evil Dwells


(1982) *1/2

In 1840 Japan a Samurai comes home one evening only to find his wife in the hands of a lover. This does not sit well with the Samurai and he does the only thing any sensible warrior would do, he slices them up like chopped liver (see above photo) and then performs hara-kiri. The story fast forwards to 1982, where bubbly Americans Ted and Laura Fletcher purchase the house. Apparently no one has wanted to live there since the grizzly murders and 140 years later it still looks exactly the same. The Fletchers can’t believe their good luck as they buy the place for a song (don’t you hate it when people use that expression?). Ted and Laura are very sexual and as they engage in coitus the first night in their new home they are unaware that they are in the presence of the paranormal.


We like to watch


So do we

The spirits of the Japanese love triangle inhabit the house and appear to enjoy playing pranks on anyone who trespasses into their final resting place. The pranks are no more sophisticated than that of an 8-year old. For example, they like to temporarily possess a body in order to make the owner of said body say silly things.

Example:
Wife (unpossessed): "Honey, why didn't Alex ever get married?"

Husband: "He's picky. I guess he never found anyone who satisfied him."

Wife (now possessed): "I'll bet I could satisfy him ... (unpossessed) wait ... why did I say that?"

Even spirits tire of playing pranks and they eventually up the ante by inhabiting the bodies of Ted, Laura, and their friend Alex. Soon the events of the past are recreated and the trio head toward their inevitable doom.

See, it's not me doing all the killin', it's this pesky spirit inside of me!

I watched so many movies with similar titles during Horrorthon that I didn’t realize until it was too late that this was the awful film Catfeeek recently reviewed. Catfreeek managed to take a terrible movie and write a hilarious analysis of it but reading a funny review about a bad movie is much more enjoyable than having to sit through one. My extra half-star was given because Cat’s review made me laugh and I laughed during the film when I was reminded of her observations (e.g. “giant crabs screaming like angry Japanese men”). Make no mistake, this is just awful.

4 comments:

Octopunk said...

I totally saw this! Can't remember when, probably Creature Double Feature. I remember that nonsense with the crabs -- all they do is crawl around. So what? Just shoo them out with a broom.

(Sorry I didn't comment on your review Cat, it was my crazy time.)

Catfreeek said...

Sorry I made you want to see this, the crabs were the only good part of the film. Great review though!

Octopunk said...

I think I remembered another weird part of this... is there a bit in which someone opens a door and all three ghosts scamper through it? Like they were waiting for the door to open?

Catfreeek said...

Yes there is! Hahahaha!!

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...