Wes Craven threw this slice of crap together to make some quick cash. To get an idea of how half-assed this movie is, it begins with a flashback from the original. A few scenes down the road, the dog who survived the original has a flashback.
Hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia poster boy Michael Berryman reprises his role as a mutant savage living in the hills. It's nice to see him getting work but I don't like to feel pity when I'm watching mind-numbing movies such as this one. The mutants are no longer cannibals in this movie. Any other traces of surprise or interesting ideas have also been safely removed. What we're left with is a 1985 slasher flick where no one involved cares about the end product. 1985 is arguably the worst year of all for horror - Elm St. 2, Ghoulies, Friday the 13th Part V, the list goes on and on. The climate at the time was more or less "It's all been done before. Why not do it again?"
The deaths in the Hills Have Eyes 2 are your standard throat slashes and harpoon assaults that barely raise an eyebrow. I've seen many unconvincing actresses pretend to be blind in my day, but none as inept as this girl. The scenes where she is feels around for clues are particularly excruciating. When the dust settles, the two people who deserve to die the most walk away with smiles as the credits roll and the film mercifully ends.
14 comments:
"1985 is arguably the worst year of all for horror"
You know the shit is bad when it makes you think of an entire year as crap...
I have an observers question for everyone.
What is your "favorite" horror movie of all time? You know, the one your brain thinks of when you are walking alone in the dark...the one that comes back for just a second when the power goes out...the one that scared the shit out of you the first time you saw it, and everytime since. I'd just like to know what your horror "Citizen Kane" is as I read the reviews.
Hmmm, not having watched nearly as many as the original 'Thoners, I would have to say Psycho is probably the one that gives me the chills the most.
Not just the "taking a shower when alone in the house self-freak out," which I have done to myself. But also just the feeling it instilled that there is always the possibility of someone sneaking in to where you feel the safest and gouging you with a butcher knife.
Great question, I can't wait to hear what the others have to say!
Hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia? Of course I already knew what that was, without having to look it up anywhere!
(lie)
Psycho is my Citizen Kane of horror.
Day of the Dead was 1985. And it's the worst one.
(BTW I checked this on my own "movie library" web page, hitting the "genres" button, selecting "horror" and sorting by year. It's also got Oscar categories.)*
*blatantly showing off my website's features
Poltergeist scared me to death the first time I watched it at about six years old, don't ask me why I was allowed to watch that movie at that age. For months after seeing it I was terrified that the tree outside my bedroom window was going to eat me, and a toy clown was going to drag me under my bed. I watched this film years later, and it still frightened me. I have no problem with the other two Poltergeist films, but you won't catch me watching the first one. Don't get any ideas JPX!
The Ring. I took a screenshot of Samara's face and found I couldn't look at it for more than a few seconds.
I watched this movie a while ago. It's woefully influenced by Road Warrior, and not in the good way. Also, the fatal shortcut is required because every single person in the group forgets it's daylight savings.
miko, the Ring and Silence of the Lambs would be in the running. I'll have a better idea at the end of the month!
I cannot and never will pass up a "best of all time" discussion.
My favorite by far is the Wicker Man but not because it's scary, it's just so, so great.
As for the scariest "walking alone in the dark" moment, I always think of Bob crawling over the couch in the Twin Peaks TV show. My mom used to make me walk the dog after that show and I always found him terrifying. But that's not even a movie. Ok let me think about this.
In terms of "scary", I think of that cerebral, overwhelming panic that David Lynch and David Lynch alone captures, like the scene in Mulholland Drive when they see the man behind the building.
Shit, Jordan, can we make requests? How's abouts Blue Velvet?
I agree with Octopunk, The Ring! Halloween is a close second for me.
are Mulholland Drive and Blue Velvet horror?
I own the video tape of Mulholland Drive but have never seen the movie; Blue Velvet I haven't seen for many years. If they count I may try to work them into the lineup.
I can defintely vote for The Ring as being truly chilling. I also agree with whirlygirl about Poltergeist - although I'm pretty sure I was older than six when I saw that....
But I still have to make sure all my doors are locked if I'm home alone and going to take a shower!
Any David Lynch movie qualifies except for Straight Story, Elephant Man and possibly Wild at Heart (I haven't seen that in years...)
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