Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Haiku Hump Day: The Devil

The Devil, Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, Hell, Evil, Hatred, Murder, Mayhem, Destruction...




Dig deep, explore your inner demons.



Why do good people do terrible things?



From where does evil originate?















How do you explain this little shit?



Just what is it about the Devil that is so very alluring?





Whoever can capture the essence of the Devil in 17 syllables shall be deemed this week's champion! Godspeed. No wait... you know what I mean.

42 comments:

JPX said...

People like to say
“The devil made me do it”
I think they’re lying

“Oh God, You Devil”
Burns played both God and Devil
John Denver skipped it

Remember Hot Stuff?
He comes from Harvey Comics
He…Oh, never mind

JPX said...

Immortality?
Who wants to live forever?
I'll keep my soul, thanks

Julie said...

I see the devil
Every day at my job.
She sits next to me.

Julie said...

Chocolate goodness
And creamy center inside.
I love devil dogs.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Shout at the Devil
Shout what exactly, Vince Neil?
That song makes no sense

JPX said...

It has been written
The Devil walks among us
George W. Bush

The rocker's devil
Is really just a peace sign
Silly metal heads

The Prince of Darkness
Is a bad Carpenter flick
But a cool nickname

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I'm a sucker for
Devils perched atop shoulders
Encouraging crime

JPX said...

They thought KISS stood for
Sigh, "Knights In Satan's Service"
People are stupid

It wasn’t scary
The Amityville Horror
What was Satan’s point?

Satan lives in hell
I wonder if he gets bored
Wouldn’t it get old?

I love Devil flicks
Which is really kind of weird
I'm an atheist

Catfreeek said...

A Dead head's lament
is a friend of the Devil
he's a groovy guy

Gotta thank the dude
for robe toting worshippers
JSP's film faves

Satan's impressive
Must have been hard to balance
on those cloven hooves

Johnny Sweatpants said...

The story of Job
Who is more of an asshole?
The Devil or God?

Catfreeek said...

Devil casting call
Clancy Brown would be my guy
like in Highlander

That harsh speaking tone
He's pure evil incarnate
He tongue lashed some nuns

Played the evil dude
In the series Carnivale
disguised as preacher

Catfreeek said...

The food of the Gods
Sinfully rich and tasty
is Devil's food cake

Catfreeek said...

Devil worshippers
are either naked or robed
just like most porn stars

Catfreeek said...

Been doing bad things?
Satan, a convenient guy
to point at for blame

Mephistopheles
Lucifer, Prince of Darkness
Just the coolest names

AC said...

"johnny" posts "devil;"
why are those two never in
same place at same time?

i have some patients
who believe in the devil.
what if they are right?

in the book "the stand"
randall has a forked penis;
at least it's not blue!

50PageMcGee said...

I want a Porsche
No cash. My credit is shot.
I'll sell my soul.

Up pops the Devil
Quill and parchment in one hand
Keys in the other

Fuck that car is sweet!
Sleek black. Five-Twenty HP
Bye-bye to my soul!

Oh crap. Manual.
I don't know how to drive stick
Turn key. Engine stall.

I want my soul back
I'll give Him something he wants more
JPX's soul

Makes me sad to think
He'll be repenting my sins
His were such tame ones

Just a toy glutton
He'd have gotten fourth circle
Mild penance. No pain.

On the other hand
I killed Sweatpants for money
Ninth circle for me

Pity, JPX
His body encased in ice
Right up to his neck

And in the meantime
I get to have my soul back
AND this dope-ass car

Pants goes to heaven
When he gets there, joke's on him
God's a Springsteen fan

JPX said...

Wait a minute, what?
Why was I dragged into this?
Sold me out for wheels??

50PageMcGee said...

In fairness to me
I sold you out, not "for wheels"
To get my soul back

Catfreeek said...

My thanks Devil dude
You gave us the Exorcist
Horrorthon Heaven

Eyes as cold as steel
Spewing evil with each word
Oprah is Satan

Catfreeek said...

Stones singing oo-oo
Sympathy for the Devil
Back up singer's hell

My personal hell
forced to watch an endless loop
of Dr. Phil's show

Catfreeek said...

Oh poor JPX
Swapped for 50's muddy soul
seemed fair at the time

50's mad rampage
killed JSP for money
I wonder how much?

So what's 50's fate?
Sweet ride sped into a tree
with no insurance

Now carless and broke
Spent the Sweatpants blood money
on hospital bills

Friend of the Devil?
Surely it's not 50P
Devil loves Karma

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Anthony Kiedis
Boasts a devil in his dick
That can cause problems

HandsomeStan said...

Tom Cruise with a wig
And Ferris Bueller's girlfriend
Can kill the devil???

HandsomeStan said...

It's all in the name
"Beelzebub" just ain't cool
Sounds like some fratboy

HandsomeStan said...

An evil number?
What's the big deal? 666?
I pay that for beer

The Beast isn't home
If you need to reach me now,
I'm at 666

HandsomeStan said...

Old pagan god Pan
Hooves, horns, also god of sex
Hmm. Coincidence?

God of sex? And nymphs?
No wonder Christians freaked out
No place for that here!

HandsomeStan said...

Gimme guitar skills
Name your price for my soul, man
I'll shred & get laid

HandsomeStan said...

Play Ozzy backwards -
Retard sounds more retarded
I've got the message

Judas Priest backwards -
Still sounds like metal but now...
Rob Halford is straight

JPX said...

Despicable man
The real Devil is the Pope
Funny hat and dress

Number 666
The number of the Dark Lord?
Superstitious dopes

AC said...

jews aren't much on
satan: god has all powers.
we DO have madoff.

AC said...

i think "the devil
made him do it": jsp
called god an asshole!

Dana's Brain said...

Bobby Di Nero
played Louis Cyphre. Lisa
Bonet got nekkid.

Dana's Brain said...

I'm sure I shouldn't
have been watching that movie.
Yay for lax parents!

HandsomeStan said...

Santa and Satan
Both red. Both descend in fire.
Similarities...

Catfreeek said...

Thrown out of Heaven
Evil or misunderstood?
Was God an asshole?

JPX said...

Satan's kind of gross
He smells like farts all the time
Fire and brimstone

Octopunk said...

The world's first rebel?
I heard Satan got the boot
Finding God's porn stash

HandsomeStan said...

"Devil" also ""lived"
"Elvis" is also "evils"
Where does the truth lie?

HandsomeStan said...

Being Satan - great!
Got metalheads, heretics
For eternity

Hell will be awesome
They've got all the good albums
And lots of pornstars

HandsomeStan said...

So - Paris Hilton
Devil assumes pleasing shape
Yep, now I get it

Octopunk said...

Lawyers, bankers too
Heaven should watch its ass, man
Hostile takeover

HandsomeStan said...

I am the devil
I'm also on the level
Rock out and revel