Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Haiku Hump Day: Villains



Once again it's time to loosen up those typing fingers and start writing some haikus. It's my job to try and inspire you.
Having little time to prepare a topic I searched through some saved pictures in my Horrorthon folder for inspiration. The answer was obvious, villains. Those beloved characters we all love to hate.

From the popular standbys like Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers

To the obscure and unforgettable

Often the subject of nightmares

or the source of laughter

crazy religious freaks

and number one fans

crappy parents
and children with issues

don't forget our comic book favorites

and those who made us say uncle

real life monsters

and monsters in the media
So without further ado I turn these vilainous fellas over to your creative hands. Now get typing!

27 comments:

Catfreeek said...

Mel can't seem to learn
to keep his big fat mouth shut
he flushed his career

Don't feel bad for him
anti semitic douchebag
only self to blame

Catfreeek said...

When my kids were small
I'd ask who's the worst bad guy
We'd argue for hours

Their choice limited
To Disney films at their age
I think Jafar won

But not for me though
Ursula and Snow White's queen
both evil bitches

HandsomeStan said...

Twirling my moustache
Tying the girl to the tracks
What's the point, really?

The hero rescues
Or the girl is train batter
Sort of a lose-lose

Catfreeek said...

If held by Jame Gumb
I'd never use the lotion
Come down and make me

AC said...

who's more villainous
in aliens? the monsters,
or creep carter burke?

AC said...

buffy villains rocked
principal, master, glory
loveably evil

Johnny Sweatpants said...

My work enemy
Adam "The Fat Fuck" Fischer
He's a Yankees fan

AC said...

mojo jojo, yo!
the powerpuffs' nemesis
and jon's avatar

Johnny Sweatpants said...

When he passes by
I roll my eyes in disgust
I truly hate him

Just went to go pee
He was stinking up the place
I left, still must pee

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Hey Freddy Krueger
Kill me if you feel you must
But spare me your puns

Jason’s in a rut
He’s dead and then he’s not dead
Make up your damn mind

Ultimate villain
Ritchie from Out For Justice
I hate him so much!

The face of evil
A retard with a chainsaw
Can’t be reasoned with

The lamest villain
The Head of the Family
Can’t help but love him

Catfreeek said...

My Showcase villain
Trace Croce, she hated me
I hope she's in pain

Catfreeek said...

Oops, that should be Tracy (bitch)

Catfreeek said...

Wile E. Coyote
He's not much of a hunter
he'd have starved to death

Octopunk said...

What of Gargamel?
Sits in shack, ponders defeat
Worst wizard ever

HandsomeStan said...

Nothin' but villians
A whole wretched hive of 'em
Mos Eisley is cool

HandsomeStan said...

Sauron's just an eye
Stop looking at me, villain
Throw some dust at you

HandsomeStan said...

Worst job in the world
Legion of Doom janitor
Villians are messy

Catfreeek said...

Yes they are messy
and I bet they don't pay well
no union wages

Catfreeek said...

Must investigate
The Haikuers have vanished
I smell villainy

HandsomeStan said...

Star Blazers villain
Desslok rules the Gamilons
Fight wretched Star Force

(that was an intro to MrsX offering up this missive regarding action figures in our apartment:)

Desslok and Barack
Holding hands atop my box
It's not what you think

(By way of explanation, I have a 12" Desslok figure and a 5" Obama figure arranged holding hands atop our cable box)

Julie said...

Swiper, don't swipe me!
That pesky fox wants my stuff.
Stupid little dick.

Julie said...

Cylons do it right.
"I'll fuck you, then I'll kill you."
They're like my heroes.

Octopunk said...

Not the most evil
But by far the most stylish
Cruella DeVille

Black white punk rock hair
Dark red Rolls Royce pimpmobile
And she wears puppies

Octopunk said...

Oh Malificent
Your dark evil runs so deep
You've got freaking horns

Check this witch bitches
Know what beats apples, tridents?
Damn dragon, that's what

Octopunk said...

It's our guarantee
Here at Dark Side of the Force
Power, and bad skin

JPX said...

I'm sorry I didn't participate - I was on Narragansett Beach all day - at least I got a bitching tan out of it!

Octopunk said...

That's the sloppiest haiku I've ever read.