Haiku's been our weekly tradition.
A replacement format, we've been wishin'.
But this limerick took ages
And seven scratch pages.
We'll be wanting less stringent conditions.
any format
it needn't even rhyme
same rules we used for HHD
go wild
There may still be limitations.
It would be a shock for thonners
To attempt long permutations
Since we have but one day to get on 'er
Acrostics are an option
Not to mention our friend Haiku
Don't think that one's closed off to you
Any form you have the time for
Shorties or multi-stanza verse
Script an epic! Do your worst!
Blank verse works too
Just write what you feel man!
But you've gotta be feeling, man!
we'll need something catchy to title it
"haiku hump day" had a nice ring to it
For this first week of the new format, I thought we'd use the first topic we ever used for HHD -- STAR WARS!
32 comments:
i most loved the eps 4 and 5
and hoped 1 through 3 all would thrive
but though jpx
gives the prequels respect
the magic for me took a dive
Was thinking when Luke kissed his Sis
at the time he was reeling with bliss
when he found out the truth
he knew it was uncouth
Good thing he didn't go for her tits
harrison ford
too cool for star wars
a real actor
but he did
the holiday special
and that is enough for me
will always be enough
Yoda
bursting with infinite wisdom
no other muppet could compare
but in all your strength
there lies one flaw
The Force was
no match for proper Grammar
In speech another green muppet reigns supreme
Kermit
There once was a man from Mos Eisley
Who pestered Kenobi unwisely
The lightsaber ace
Jacked up his whole face
To look at him now makes your eyes bleed
Yeah Chewie, she ran off without kiss
Now shut up and help me re-route this
There's mynocks outside?
They'll bust up my ride!
I've got a bad feeling about this
star wars parodies
robot chicken's first was best
spaceballs, kind of lame
Your ancient religion's a joke
The Jedi are all up in smoke
Your devotion is sad
The Empire is rad
Why am I starting to choke?
One of the Death Star's main failings
Besides its complete lack of railings
With one tiny shot
It blew up on the spot
And sent its crew into space, flailing
TK421's in a snit
Dropped his lunch down a bottomless pit
When they nuked Alderaan
He was stuck in the can
Can this day dole out any more shit?
He took to the Yavin sky feeling brash
But was gunned down by TIE fighter laser flash
Last words, "W-w-wait!"
Ignominious fate
Gone are Biggs and his thick, stupid moustache
Blood stains are red
Grand Moff Tarkin is blue
if you dare to cross Vader
then you'll be dead too
Handsome Stan's Special Edition hate club
Now your head's stuck on replays of "Yub Yub"
You'd be spared that appallment
If you'd watched the new installments
I do not feel sorry for you, bub.
Palpatine's future was brightening
Before no one thought he was frightening
Now meetings were short
With all happy reports
Cause his fingers shot all kinds of lightning
Farmboys did not leave him shaken
But this womp rat was sadly mistaken
He did not run and hide
And was quickly bulls-eyed
Now his organs on hot rocks are bakin'
Cherry blossoms fall
As do numerous forearms
Thanks a bunch, Jedi
Octopunk surveys his work
Mistakes make him feel like a jerk
Because they vexed 'im
He went back and fixed 'em
Blah de blah, blurkey blurk blurk
On landing there Yoda said "Hark!
My ship's a refuge in the dark
Since swamp life I fear
I'll make my home here"
But then he forgot where he parked.
There once was an asshole named Jar Jar
Whose antics just went way too far far
His eyes would bug out
He always freaks out
I hope he gets hit by a car car
George Lucas to his cast incited
"The imbalance of power's been righted.
The Death Star's a fireball.
Sweet freedom's been won for all.
Now dance like you're barely excited."
Force powers help save the day-o
Grab lightsabers during the fray-o
Then someone said "Dude!
Make all the girls nude!"
It was a space-faring Scott Baio
Qui-gon slaps forehead, "We're stuck
On Tatooine like sitting ducks.
The hyperdrive's leaking!"
Then Obi starts speaking:
"This movie we're in really sucks."
Admiral Ackbar with hands on hips
urging rebels to board their ships
It's time to fight back the Death Star is the goal
To blow it they must shoot at a two meter hole
Wedge apprehensive, "It's impossible" he claims
Just like shooting womp rats Luke calmly explains
So off they fly to blow up the mass
and send Darth Vader reeling while holding his ass
[...a work in progress, sung (or rapped) to the tune of LL Cool J's Mama Said Knock You Out...]
Don’t call it a comeback
Cuz I been here for years
Scream a bit to make Sandpeople fear
Makin the droid play tape in my living room
Listen to the sword go FOOM
Explosion
Lots of violence
Millions scream out, then silenced
Planet’s gone, let’s move on
To that moon that wait, that ain’t no moon
[...more to come, I hope...]
[...continued...]
Don’t strike me down, you gonna lose
Don’t ever compare
Me to the rest that all got sliced and diced
Empire’s gonna pay the price
I’m gonna strike you down (HUUUH!!!)
Obi-Wan said strike you down (HUUUH!!!)
(repeat 4x)
Verse II, Episode V:
Don’t you call Hoth a regular planet
It’s really cold out, dammit
I’m gonna take this Taun Taun back into the storm
And I just got warm
There's a fact Luke's been trying to hide
'Cause it's an argument for the Dark Side
Sure, evil he's purgin'
But he's still a virgin
A tauntuan's all he's been inside
Hammerhead's lately been bloggin'
'Bout how he scores chicks with that noggin
He says "Here's your antha
I'm hung like a bantha
The girls ride me like a toboggan"
Vader's is red
Luke's starts out blue
Darth Maul had a fucking double-red
He should never have been killed
Hammerhead speaks with a listhp
And he blogs about bagging the chicksth
Octopunk's genius
Is really quite genius
No one holdsth a candle to his thit
Watching the movies as a child
Made my sci-fi brain go wild
Knights with swords, mystical forces
The pain of the prequels only worsens
"Fairy tale for kids," that's what he said
There ain't no excuse for Darth Maul to be dead
Why oh why are there midichlorians?
Raped mythology; the pain only worsens
I submit that the new moniker for the day should be "Orange Wednesday," because nothing rhymes with orange.
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion has a great song and even better album titled thusly.
Sheer pain of fandom
My religion becomes trite
He should have been killed
(revised)
Hammerhead's lately been bloggin'
'Bout how he scores chicks with that noggin
He says "Here's your antha
I'm hung like a bantha
The girlth ride me like a toboggan"
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