Another stupid promotion. From x-entertainment, "My obsession with movie-branded 7-Eleven Slurpees continues with the chain's new Superman Returns Mountain Dew Slurpees. I was tipped off to their impending arrival a few months ago, actually; the studio's list of licensees is enormous, and while I doubt we'll see many things as cool as official Superman Slurpees, you can bet on enough new red and blue junk to give your spare bedroom a theme.
I can't say that the promotional push has made me any less apathetic towards Superman, but he's certainly in my thoughts more than ever, even if it's just by extension of thinking about soft drinks and new Cap'n Crunch cereal with Superman shield pieces. (Coming soon to the blog.) While X-Men: The Last Stand was only good enough to get character likenessesesesses on the cups for an otherwise unrelated Sunkist Orange Slurpee, Superman gets two new flavors all his own -- "Kryptonite Ice," and "Arctic Burst." Okay, so maybe "Arctic Burst" is more just a coincidence, but that's not how they're presenting it, so THANK YOU SUPERMAN! The signage is everywhere at 7-Eleven, and totally top notch. They're even hocking specially sized bags of guacamole "Kryptonite" Doritos, so for Superman fans who happen to be stoners, 7-Eleven is like, Heaven and Babylon and that stupid Star Trek Nexus place all rolled into one big tempting taquito.
There's a whole bunch of specialness in the cups, too. You can choose from "normal" picture cups that come with neat Superman lids, or for Slurpee drinkers of the more ultimate persuasion, a gigantic plastic THING shaped like Superman's logo that can be filled, drank, washed and kept for just 2.49.
I thought I was squirting myself a cup full of Kryptonite Ice, but turns out the machine had been mislabeled -- I was actually pouring myself a cup full of Arctic Burst, which would've pissed me off more if they actually had the other kind. No dice there, so I can't comment. As for Arctic Burst, it's really good. Picture a cross between a blue raspberry Slush Puppie and the mutant purple sludge that rests at the bottom of every ice cream truck's snowcone. Good stuff. If you're part of the 7-Eleven Slurpee subculture, and I swear it exists, don't wait until the movie's old news to try these. They're never as good by then."
3 comments:
Wow. Sounds like this guy clocks a lot of time at 7-11, something like the amount of time I used to clock at Dan's Variety.
I wish the S-shield thing was cooler. It sounded cool, but I didn't like the picture (which I can't post right now because that function isn't working. *&%$#@*&!!!
Funniest part about this for me is that just over a week ago, some friends of mine had a running e-mail exchange about headlines with double entendres.
In promotional articles all across the country, Superman is going to seem terribly discontent this season.
"Superman Returns T-Shirts at Nordstroms Outlet(AP) This afternoon Superman returned a large bulk shipment of t-shirts at a Nordstroms outlet in Dayton, OH. "I just bought this great silkscreener," the Man of Steel explains, "I've always loved those Underdog shirts, but nobody ever sells them in green -- they're always those stupid red and white ringers. I hate ringers." Alas, his first shipment of blank shirts were not to his liking. "The stitching was terrible. The arm lengths were uneven and some of the colors had bleach marks. I'm going with American Apparell.""
Oh, see I thought the double meaning was about Superman benignly returning Mountain Dew Slurpees to the masses after a long absence. Like you need Kryptonian tech to make them, and he had it locked up at the Fortress.
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