From geekology, Tired of staring at the same damn group of garden gnomes in your flowerbed? Well how about (un)livening things up a bit with a Garden Zombie? Garden Zombies cost $90 and the 32"W x 20"D x 8"H sculptures look like they're climbing out of the ground and ready to gnaw on some headfruit.
Not for the faint of heart, the life-sized, gray-toned zombie will claw his way out of your garden plot or family room corner, pleading for assistance with the most lifelike eyes you've ever seen. His macabre expression is captured in such great detail in quality designer resin and finished so realistically that you'll swear you can hear him breathing!
Garden? Maybe. Inside the apartment? Fuck no. The last thing I need to see while stumbling my way to a midnight snack is a zombie climbing out of the floor. I'd decimate my tighty-offwhities (if I was wearing any) and cry like a baby. Eventually I'd come to, grab one of my zombie-survival kits, and proceed to kill the poor sap that lives in the apartment below mine.
3 comments:
HA! That's way better then the crashed spaceship!
Whoever wrote this sales copy obviously knows nothing about zombies.
"... will claw his way out of your garden plot or family room corner, pleading for assistance with the most lifelike eyes you've ever seen."
Zombies don't need your assistance! They just need your brains!
"...finished so realistically that you'll swear you can hear him breathing!"
Breathing?
"Lifelike eyes"? Zombies have glazed eyes!
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