Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Slaughtered Vomit Dolls

(2006) -1 (because zero isn't low enough)

Hands down the absolute worst movie I have ever seen in my life. If Jack the Ripper were a modern day film student and someone slipped him bath salts this is the film he would make. Shaky hand held camera, real vomit self induced by several people, eyeball gouging that would have been cool if not for the garbled backward and slow motion dialog and nerve grating music tracks. The movie made absolutely no sense from beginning to end. The only remote hint of a plot was that a bunch of whores were being slaughtered after vomiting. I was so agitated by the end of this film that I had to sit in silence for half an hour to collect myself. Every copy should be burned and the jerk who made the film should be drown in a vat of his own vomit. Just my humble opinion.



9 comments:

Octopunk said...

Is that our first ever negative star rating?

That's well and truly gross, Cat. I doubt I could watch real footage of people repeatedly barfing. First eating poop and now this!

Abduscias said...

Lol....eww

50PageMcGee said...

even before i discovered octo's comment my thought was, "officially the lowest rated thon movie of all time".

i dunno though -- i think more needs to go into this. just as a five star rating gets cemented by multiple reviews (wicker man, ju-on) so too does this one need verification.

someone else needs to review it.

obviously that person needs to not be me.

pants, crystal -- go get 'er, ray!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Nice try 50 but I'm gonna pass. I'm trying to limit my stomach churning entries this year.

Is this a foreign movie?

DCD said...

I'm just thankful someone put another review up because that picture was grossing me out every time I opened H-thon!!

Catfreeek said...

It's an American flick directed by a guy named Lucifer Valentine. I think you should watch it 50P;)

Trevor said...

Negative stars?!?

A Horrorthon first!

Thank you for enduring this so that it is added to our canon, but none of have to watch it - you're a pioneer!

Crystal Math said...

I just did a Google search for this and was thoroughly confused. I can usually b.s. my way into an analogy or two, but here I got nothin' and will concede with Cat's opinion.

AC said...

the one silver lining: it can only get better from here!