Saturday, November 03, 2012

Embodiment of Evil

 (2008) ***
Coffin Joe is released from prison after 40 years. He may look older and fatter but he’s still rocking that top hat and cape and he is just as much of a bastard as he was when he was young and sassy, maybe even more so. He still hasn’t given up on the notion of finding the perfect woman to conceive a son with. He is determined to continue his perfectly evil bloodline. This time it isn’t just his faithful servant Victor that is helping him but some new recruits as well. Prison seems to have hardened him and he is even more brutal and torturous than he was before.


 Coffin Joe's devoted minions
By far the weakest of the Coffin Joe films but that doesn’t mean the film is bad by any means it is still engaging, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. That said, there are several cringe worthy scenes that made me drop my rating down to three. I’m not talking about when he slices the woman’s ass cheek off and makes her eat it, nor am I talking about the scalping of another woman or gouging a dude’s eye out with his long disgusting nails, these are nothing compared to some of the stuff I’ve watched. What really makes me cringe is watching old fart Coffin Joe tongue kissing and writhing around with young totally nude females. Gross, Gross, GROSS! It was like watching someone’s perverted grandpa getting a piece of young ass. I realize he has to hook up with someone young enough to be able to spawn his child, I know it’s relevant to the plot and all but man, it sure is Naaaas-ty! The only saving grace is that Coffin Joe himself never once gets naked, he remains fully clothed through every one of these scenes even the one scene that I found to be particularly disturbing. As Joe pumps away at the naked hottie, bucket loads of blood rain down on them, blech. Not my favorite in the series but it was still good to find the old fellow still had some spunk after all those years.


4 comments:

Octopunk said...

Well it certainly sounds like old CJ pushes through the inevitable envelope of diminished return, so good for him!

I keep thinking that chair he's sitting in is going to come to live with the help of crappy CGI.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

José Mojica Marins is a weird dude. He gravitated towards softcore porn in the 80's so your description doesn't surprise me. I'm glad he went back to his roots. At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul is still a masterpiece! Also those nasty fingernails are real.

Please, please, please copy me This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse for next year!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

There's nothin' quite as gross as old man spunk!

DKC said...

Gah! You said a mouthful, JSP. I'm kind of surprised you didn't give us a picture of the eye gouge, Cat.

Salem's Lot 1979 and Salem's Lot 2024

Happy Halloween everybody! Julie's working late and the boy doesn't have school tomorrow so he's heading to one of those crazy f...