Thursday, November 29, 2012
Hey gang! So is Horrorthon over, or what? According to the rules we worked out last year, all the reviews should have been written by the Sunday after Thanksgiving, which was obviously a couple of days ago. But Cat's the only one to actually wrap things up and I suspect there might be other reviews out there still to be written. It feels like a lot of us have been swamped by pesky old Real Life (I know I have), and with Xmas coming up it would be nice for some closure.
Unfortunately, I still have fifteen (fifteen!) reviews I haven't written yet. So here they all are, in a short, loose, machine-gun fashion. Ideally I want to come back to all these flicks and give them the full treatment, but I thought it would be best to 1) at least get them in before November is over, and 2) possibly catalyze a bit of Best-Ofs action from the lot of you. Is this mike on?
Here we go...
Species 1995 ***
Ben Kingsley hires some alien hunters and yells at them for not adequately fixing his gaping failures. Also boobs.
Martyrs 2008 *****
Many things about this movie will blow your mind, not the least of which is that almost all of it takes place in the same house. I plan a spoil-everything review so the biddies can see what the fuss is all about.
Frankenstein Conquers the World 1965 ****
One of my top five favorite Toho kaiju flicks, with a cool creepy premise and the best best BEST alternate ending of any movie ever. I may have to buy a copy of this dvd to adequately illustrate my point.
War of the Gargantuas 1968 ***
Sequel to Frankenstein Conquers the World with more hair (the dude on the left in this picture is supposed to be the same dude on the left from the picture above). Also stars Russ Tamblyn, the weird shrink from Twin Peaks.
The Earth Dies Screaming 1964 *1/2
Snoozy British C-movie that nobody remembers and nobody should.
Severance 2006 ****
Just as funny and good as 50PageMcGee said it was.
The H-Man 1958 ***1/4
Atomic blob people stalk the Tokyo underworld. Better blob effects than The Blob.
Attack the Block 2011 *****
Absolutely brilliant. Don't listen to Tami.
Alien Vs Predator 2004 ***1/2
Given the reviews leading up to this, you'd think this movie would piss me off, but it's actually pretty good.
Alien Vs Predator Requiem 2007 **
Ah, there it is -- this movie pisses me off enough for two movies, maybe more. Terrible.
Pitch Black 2000 *****
Holy crap do I love me some Pitch Black.
Event Horizon 1997 *1/2
I've never been able to stand this movie and now I've seen it three times. Someone will pay.
Predators 2010 ***3/4
Despite Adrien Brody doing a Batman husky voice, this flick is pretty decent.
Critters 1986 ***
Late 80s goremedy with Dee Wallace bringing her A game, god bless her. Also, Neelix gets killed.
Prometheus 2012 **1/2
Same batch of idiots you remember from a few months ago, doing the same idiotic stuff, marring what could have been another classic Ridley Scott movie.
Ka-BAM! I'll let that sit for a day or two and then hit you up with some Best Ofs. Hope to see some of you guys here.