I'll try to condense the intricate plot as much as I can. A group of teenagers who are only trying to have a good time go on a road trip and their car breaks down in the middle of - oh dear, this again... This time the location is Tennessee where we find a wax museum.
Fuck Paris Hilton. And by extension, fuck this movie. I know she's an easy target but I really don't care. She brings out my inner rage like no one else can. The fact that she's STILL famous really depresses me. It makes me feel nothing but shame and contempt for my country. I can't even buy milk at the supermarket without seeing her idiotic, entitled, smug, semi-retarded face smiling blankly through the pages of some shit magazine at the checkout counter. No seriously, I'm getting all worked up just writing this. And it's not satisfying that they kill her off in this film because you know that Paris Hilton, the *eye roll* actress got up, dusted herself off, laughed and continued to be a horrible, horrible person. She has a hit album by the way. So go ahead and add that one to the list. "Confessions of an Heiress" or some shit. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!! Ahem. Please excuse me. I'm very tired and the new Irvine Welsh book is starting to sink its claws in me.
I was mistakenly under the impression that Ms. Hill would be killed off in opening sequence like Drew Berrymore in Scream. I was mortified when she wasn't. So I did what I had to do under the circumstances; I lowered my rating by a half star for every 10 minutes she was still alive. Please note the above rating of *1/2. That's right, one hour sixteen minutes before she gets it. That's about 3 episodes of the Simple Life.
Paris aside, the movie was so-so. There were actually a few inspired sequences and I did manage to enjoy myself a little during the finale. But I couldn't help but compare this to the Hills Have Eyes and Wolf Creek, both of which kicked this movie's ass across the board.
8 comments:
I apologize for all of the profanity but I assure you, every swear word was absolutely necessary.
I applaud your vitriol! It's the precise fact that she's an easy target that results in apathy about hating her and all that she stands for -- which is nothing. A particularly hateful nothing.
Myself, I don't have the energy for it. I was using it to hate Tara Reid, but she kinda went away. Now I lease it out.
And what are you doing reading books at a time like this?
Wow, this might be the only time Summerisle and I have disagreed on a horror film. My suspicion is that his hatred for Hilton might have colored his experince and bit. Granted the first half of House is an endurance test, but once they get to the titular house of wax, things get pretty gross and disturbing. Also, the house itself is an amazing achievement in FX.
Well, we can all be thankful that some mediocre famous chick from Barrington got to punch Paris Hilton in the face, can't we?
On the political/liberal/progressive websites I frequent, headlines routinely describe attempts to repeal the estate tax as "More money for Paris Hilton," just to make us angrier.
I agree that the most exquisitely annoying thing about Ms. Hilton is the facial expression. There's just no describing it...I actually prefer to hate the "other" Paris Hilton expression, wherein she's "caught in the act of laughing" in this fake-o stagey way. You know what I mean? About 40% of the photos show that face.
That damn picture makes me want to punch my computer screen.
Jordan, I know the face exactly. It's tattooed in my head. I actually do a good imitation of her. I came really close to posting a picture of it but talked myself out of it.
So DCD, what's this story about the Barrington girl? Don't leave out any details. In fact, feel free to embellish.
You can read about the fisticuffs here:
http://entertainment.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=236526
Her Bio says Providence, RI as birthplace, but I'm pretty sure she lived in good ole' Barrington at some point.
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