First Spider-Man 3, then Shrek 3 and 28 Weeks Later; Is Pirates 3 continuing a bad summer movie streak?

By Claudia Puig, USA TODAY

The pirate ship has hit foul waters, and even the sharp wit and charm of everyone's favorite buccaneer can't save it.

One longs for more scenes featuring Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp's indelible and beloved character in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (* 1/2 out of four), and less of everything else in this bloated, overwrought and convoluted three-hour misfire.

Depp is in only about half of the movie, which is a tactical error in this third — and worst — installment of the 2003 surprise hit. Instead, the movie is overloaded with extraneous characters and weighed down by muddled seafaring mythology.

Surprisingly, the anticipated appearance of Keith Richards as Sparrow's father falls flat. And does anybody care about the plight of Geoffrey Rush's Captain Barbossa or that of the unctuous and corrupt Brits (Tom Hollander and Jack Davenport)? We care a jot about what happens to lovers Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), and it is fun to lay eyes again on Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) with his face full of writhing tentacles.

But let's be honest: It's all about Jack. He's what made the first movie a hit. And, as a Hollywood dealmaker might put it, the franchise hinges on him. So why crowd the movie with an ever-expanding cast no one cares about? And why run aground a seafaring adventure saga with tedious scenes of a pirates' council as they discuss administrative matters?

Not that the action sequences fare much better. The high-seas mayhem blurs, explosions grow numbing, and most land sequences end in a brawl. Initially, Turner, Swann, Barbossa and other familiar plunderers sail off to free Sparrow from Davy Jones' locker. Then the story gets as murky as the undersea world that Sparrow's Black Pearl is plunged into.

Visually, the film has some note-worthy moments. The production design is eye-catching, particularly in the opening scenes set in Singapore. The "fish people" aboard Davy Jones' ship remain captivating with their hammerhead shark heads and barnacled visages.

But this "threequel" sinks under the weight of its own pretensions and flounders with its protracted, nonsensical plot. And as if it weren't long enough, a key scene is tacked on after the credits.

Just before the film's end, a drunken pillager growls out: "Take what you can. Give nothing back." Mindful of a predecessor that raked in more than $1 billion worldwide, that greedy directive might have been the mantra of the studio execs who conceived of this sorry spectacle. (Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action/adventure violence and some frightening images. Running time: 2 hours, 48 minutes. Opens Thursday nationwide.)