Ok thanks everyone (except Rex) for participating! I was genuinely worried that no one was going to dignify a story about a flying fork with a response. (I even had a plan for it - I would submit my own endings anonymously!) Handsome Stan, can we film this shit? The production cost is next to nothing: fork on strings + find a funny fat guy = done and done. Onward ho!
(See comments for more dumb-assedness and results.)
9 comments:
Art Twardfark almost claimed victory simply due to the hilarious name. (I picture Terry Jones in early Python sketches.) I enjoyed the instant violence; Randy suffers serious injury in the first paragraph and expires in the second. The imagery was blunt and effective - "...gripping the fork with an iron will he pushed in the opposite direction, shoving Glenn deep into his brain and killing himself instantly." Positively horrific! Love it! To cap things off Mr. Twardfark wrapped it up with a strange, Pagan ceremony returning Glenn to his initial state of forkness. Like Toy Story it asks "Who knows what goes on when you leave the room?"
I thought Rex's submission was condescending in tone, hastily assembled, heartless and mean spirited. And I loved it!
Excuse for a moment, Rowan just did something unacceptably obscene in the kitty litter which requires immediate attention.
Ok I'm back..
I'm going to guess that Catfreeek is A Spoon Called Justice and I'm willing to place money on it. Certain clues gave you away... Anyway Justice had a lot going on. After a humorous encounter with Randy, Glenn moved on and found solitude. "He finally had a place all his own, a spot in the universe where no other being could sustain life. This was bliss." Awesome. Isn't that what we're all looking for in this crazy old world? Or is it just me? Out of the 4 conclusions, Justice was the only person to end things with a positive spin. Not that I'm into Hollywood endings and junk but I was pleased to read at least one where Glenn triumphed.
But then there was Mabel who won me over in so many ways my head is still spinning. I laughed my ass thoroughly off (there's literally no ass left), read it again and continued to chuckle indefinitely. Whoever this lovable sumbitch is, injected him(her)(it)self directly into my funny bone. I probably shouldn't reward someone who so shamelessly played into my sense of humor but, well, here we are.
1) The subtle Springsteen jab (+10 BONUS POINTS)
2) Silverware humping
2) The exclamation "Devil Fork!"
3) Acknowledged my contempt for heavily processed garbage passed off as "food".
4) Explored the glories and possibilities of the life of an entity that requires no sustenance, shelter, oxygen or duties.
5) Addressed the downside to such an existence.
6) Made me sympathize with a fork.
The sad ending left me feeling... sad but the story had already won both this week's competition and my tender heart. Well done Sir Mabel! I honestly don't know who you are so I won't embarrass myself by guessing wrong.
JSP you are so right, I am a spoon called justice. I also knew as soon as I read it that the coveted prize was going to Mabel. There was just too much good stuff in that little ending to compete with.
Congrats Mabel, well done indeed ;)
wow, i never thought shameless pandering would be rewarded, nor that "eagle eye" johnny sweatpants could be deceived as to writing style, so i'm as happy as a fork. thank you very much indeed johnny!
ac aka mabel
JSP, for the record AC told me last night that she was Mabel and I was stunned as well. I thought it might have been Stan or Octo.
Again, great job AC! Woot, woot, woot!!
Nice work, AC!!
The only clue that led me to believe it might be AC rather than Stan was the Wonder Bread. Awesome job again AC! You continue to impress.
Mr. Pants, I must protest! "All we need is each other?" This is the Hallmarkian sentiment your cutting edge blog would choose to espouse??? I am not so much shocked as deeply, deeply disappointed. You will not see me again on these pages, sir!
Jeez, what a grouch. Good freakin' riddance.
Congrats AC! I had a feeling you'd won it when I read the part where Glenn lets himself decay in the alleys of New York. Nicely done.
ART! WAIT!!!! You're right! I was wrong! We can work it out! AAAART!!!!
Dammit... He's gone.
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