Wednesday, April 22, 2009

There's no place like Haiku Hump Day!

Batten down your farmhouse and set your flying monkey traps, today's topic is The Wizard of Oz.

One movie might seem like a narrow topic for the kind of output this group usually wields, but I think this movie has got the chops. For one thing, you've all seen it. For another, it's chock full of memorable characters, scenery, props, themes, icons, history, dialogue, music and midgets like no other movie that doesn't have a Lucasfilm logo at the front of it.

Is that lion licking his balls?

Contemplating tomorrow, I find myself in the mood for two things. One I know I'll get anyway, and that's sass. So tarnish those rubies and emeralds, my munchkin bitches!

The mafia.

The other thing is some poking into the corners of Oz, a shout out to the bit players. I expect lots of coverage of the core team, naturally, but as you mull, consider unseen perspectives and one-shot roles.

I WILL scare your children.

The various books, movies, plays and further hoo-ha are all fair game, but today make the 1939 MGM movie the meat in your poetry sandwich.

No joke here, this is just an amazing shot, don't you think? Oops, I just made you gay.

Now go and make some seventeen-syllabled history!

Go I said!


Octopunk said...

Okay, I'll put foot to brick here...

Oz haiku? Easy
Follow the yellow brick road
There's no place like home

Damn liying scarecrow
License says organ donor
Just straw and a brain

EC stable boy
Knows which horse pooped each big pile
Different colors

(That will be my "corners of Oz" example)

50PageMcGee said...

You know it's coming
Wizard of Oz: the Remake
Star: Miley Cyrus

Catfreeek said...

Perverted Scarecrow
Always making Dorothy
pack in his stuffing

Witch didn't scare me
It was her heinous brood of
flying monkeys, yikes!

Watched it every year
a big tv event like
The Sound of Music

Glinda rode bubble
she was fuzzy and glowing
she had some good drugs

Angry little men
Toting sweet treats, kicking dirt
The Lollipop Guild

Catfreeek said...

Okay, here's the deal
A girl, three guys and a dog.
Sounds like a porn pitch

I always wondered
when the forecast called for rain
where did the witch go?

Some happy munchkins
bright colors, a poppy field
so cool, why go home?

Water melts bad guy,
would never fly in comics
Aquaman would rule!

Catfreeek said...

Help! The wicked witch!
At last, work for wonder twins
need bucket of water

Oh the poor Tin man
he's such a sensitive guy
should have cried on witch

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Welcome to our world!
By the way, you killed someone
But it's just a witch

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I like the Tin Man
I like the Wizard of Oz
"Not now, I'm thinking"

AC said...

"the wiz" was awful.
and who vetted that title?
doesn't "whiz" mean "piss"?

the wizard of oz:
the only musical our
jpx can stand

"there's no place like home"
deeply philosophical
or total bullshit?

another moral
what we need's already here
as long as it's shoes

AC said...

judy garland was
16 when her part was filmed
she strapped down her breasts

if jpx were
judging this week i'd win since
i used the word "breasts"

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Blissful day waster
Just add Dark Side and some herb
Kick back and enjoy

Johnny Sweatpants said...

JPX and I
Saw the munchkins in person
Yup, nerd convention

They wore the outfits
And looked quite adorable
Small and really old

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Pig tails, soft blue dress
Wholesome American girl
Please excuse me. *pukes*

Catfreeek said...

Imagine remake
starring Liza Minelli
Ok, bad idea

Catfreeek's dream of Oz
Opium den/poppy field
Toto is a cat

Catfreeek said...

Classified ad reads:
Experienced sky writer
Will trade skill for girl

AC said...

if you remake the
original then remake
the wiz. fair is fair.

Catfreeek said...

Remake of the Wiz
would only be a good one
if it starred Gretchen

Why not star Gretchen
First Wiz chick had an afro
So what if she's white?

The Wiz is black Oz
So Gretchen wears shoe polish
It could so work, right?

AC said...

blackface gretchen might
appear racist so johnny
please don't post pictures.

yes, i know asking
johnny not to do something
makes it more likely

JPX said...

Despite what some say
The film does not synch up with
Dark Side of the Moon

"There's no place like home"
That's what the film likes to say
But what if home sucks?

Upon retrospect
The wicked witch of the west
Was kind of a bitch

I bet the "great" OZ
Had a small penis complex
Most just buy a car

on the commute home, mr. ac said...

lesbian version:
dorothy hooks up with witch
toto is a cat

horrorthon version:
the wickerman as scarecrow
cujo as toto

Catfreeek said...

The great Oz hiding
Toto opens the curtain
oops, on the crapper

mr. ac and ac teamed up and said...

updated version:
dorothy in trailer park
not farm girl: crack whore!

1980s style:
molly ringwald, dorothy;
john hughes, directing

JPX said...

Glenda the good witch
Was absent most of the time
Better things to do?

Tin Man wanted heart
He could've lived forever
As a cold robot

Toto was useless
Just dead weight if you ask me
Who cleaned up the poop?

JPX said...

I've always wondered
What kind of infrastructure?
Who paid for road repair?

High cost of living
Witch insurance was pricey
Big lollipop tax

AC said...

poor buddy ebsen
almost dies from "tin" makeup
not even in film

AC said...

"over the rainbow"
won academy award
almost deleted

AC said...

miss gulch, a bitch, turns
into a genuine witch.
30s "girl power"?

AC said...

who saw this coming?
topic triggered compulsive
urge to watch "the wiz"

AC said...

no wait for "the wiz"
on netflix: how shocking! yes,
it's top of my queue :(

Catfreeek said...

AC don't do it!
You could be blinded for life!
and brain damaged too!

Just think about it,
ghetto fro Diana Ross
Scary crow Jackson

Richard Pryor, damn!
What the hell were you thinking?
and Nipsey Russell!

Someone stop AC
before she hits play button
and needs cpr

Catfreeek said...

Since when did "Follow
the yellow brick road" become
"Ease on down the road?"

Dana's Brain said...

JSP - your first one made me laugh out loud!!

Scared of the monkeys?
Pfff, the wicked witch had Jake
freaked out for a month!

Still love the moment
when the black and white becomes
a world of color.

Poor Judy Garland
Had to strap down the ta-ta's
Hurts to think about!

The Lollipop Guild
What the F is up with them?
Pop this, you midgets!

Witch knows where it's at,
Gets 'em high on poppies, then
Glinda adds the "snow".

Catfreeek said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Catfreeek said...

Boobies all strapped down
no wonder she looked so stiff
She could hardly breath

50PageMcGee said...

Yellow Brick Road's end.
What the hell? There's no city.
Just a matte painting.

50PageMcGee said...

Lion gets courage
Unwise gift. Returns to woods,
Bloodbath in the trees.