Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Haiku Hump Day: Swine Flu!

I decided to forgo the usual entertainment categories and go with something topical. If this proves to be a disaster you can blame my friend Blake - it was his idea.



Yes it's here and it's nasty! Swine flu! The last thing you want is swine flu!



Is it just one more thing we're being pressured to worry about even if won't likely directly or indirectly affect our lives?


Or should we be concerned and prepare accordingly? After all, the very concept is creepy and unpleasant.



What are you thoughts on swine flu...



... in haiku form?

44 comments:

Catfreeek said...

If I get swine flu
does that mean I'll grow a snout?
Yeah, someone asked that.

So flues come from pigs
Why not just get rid of pigs?
cause bacon is good

So the big bad wolf
blew the house down and ate them
then died from swine flu

The positive side
of national pandemic
faking sick from work

Contracted swine flu
felt uncontrollable urge
to roll in the mud

JPX said...

So now the swine flu?
One more reason to avoid
Seeing the third world

Hell, I'm not worried
I work in a hospital
Best place to be sick

I don't like to brag
I have never had the flu
I do like to brag

Ok more bragging
I've never had a headache
Nor a cavity

JPX said...

Michael Jackson, weird?
Perhaps he is the smart one
Keeping face covered

Such hysteria!
A mass overreaction
Pandemic my ass

AC said...

swine flu coverage
triggers ocd crises
for some poor patients

therefore i have to
follow this "news" carefully.
fuck swine flu! fuck "news"!

AC said...

jsp's topic
is timely: first U.S. death
from swine flu today.

maybe "pandemic"
fears will keep sick people home
small silver lining

JPX said...

Swine flu is "whine" flu
Creates mass hysteria
It's good for business

AC said...

jpx healthy.
too healthy! reading his boast
gave ac headache

ac has had it
will attempt suicide by
rolling in bacon

mmmm, bacon: cause of,
and solution to, all of
life's little problems.

JPX said...

If I got the flu
I'd watch movies all day long
Wait, I do that now

AC said...

swine conspiracy:
flu wipes out the human race
pigs will rule the earth

AC said...

i guess mom was right.
wash hands, cover when you cough.
i hate when mom's right.

AC said...

hypochondriac
friend sick, worried it's sf.
i just oink at her.

AC said...

hope swine flu doesn't
mar pigs' fine reputation.
publicist's nightmare.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Edgar Hernandez
Owes us an apology
He started this crap

Bacon in the fridge
To consume or dispose of?
That is the question

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I'll take my chances
Can't get my mind off bacon
Sounds perfect right now

Bacon, omelet, toast
And freshly squeezed orange juice
My menu tonight

Catfreeek said...

JPX immune
Piggy flu wipes out the rest
stuck on pig planet

Awesome visual
AC rolling in bacon
I can't stop laughing

Just a random thought,
JSP rolls in bacon
nah, that seems normal

Anonymous said...

you promised you would,
if you don't you a liar
you have to: pigs flu!

Catfreeek said...

JSP's nightmare
Pigs wiped off face of planet
Just Turkey Bacon

Chris said...

Don't want the swine flu.
But I will sure miss the pork.
Oohh! That's what she said.

Chris said...

Two alone backstage;
"Oh, Kermie, take me!" she squeals.
Best sheathe it first, frog.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Pandemic level
Has been elevated, shit
We're all gonna die

If that is the case
I'll be overwhelmed with guilt
Choosing this topic

Chris said...

Childhood flu was great
Day off from school, lunch in bed
Reruns all day long

JPX said...

Having the flu sucks
Oh wait, I've never had it
No I'm not bragging!

mr and ms ac said...

Had a Mex parrot,
Enza. I opened the door,
and in flu Enza!

mr. ac said...

pork enchiladas
not the most popular fare
now that swine flu's here.

AC said...

swine flu cases at
my hospital. don't panic.
i'm off to buy masks.

AC said...

even atheists
must pray for the continued
health of... Bacon Man.

mr. and ms. ac said...

ad agency pitch,
tamiflu-flavored pork rinds:
"Crunch your way to Health!"

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Oh no! Swine flu got me good
Looks like it's the end for me
Must finish hai...

Catfreeek said...

JPX bragging
Nah nah, I've never been sick
gonna cough on him

We need bacon man
to beat the swine flu away
save his precious name

So, Widespread Panic
the effect of flu outbrak
or just a jam band?

Catfreeek said...

oops, should be outbreak

AC said...

before we all die
jpx and whirlygirl
should catch up on LOST!

JPX said...

AC, how was lost?
It's Whirly's fault we're behind
We need to watch 4

JPX said...

So what's the big deal?
You need to poop and throw up?
Wah! Get over it

If I had the flu
Which I've never had, of course
I'd be a baby

Octopunk said...

George Orwell, Pink Floyd
Both warned us about the day
The pigs take revenge

Octopunk said...

Egypt's killing pigs!
Man, I would like to see that
Huge pork pyramid

50PageMcGee said...

We always wondered
"When pigs fly..." Happening now!
...Oh, you said "flu."

Octopunk said...

Porky, Wilbur, Babe
Made us all love cute piggies
Then strike like cobras

AC said...

LOST was good, but the
island got swine flu and they
all died. show's over. :(

Octopunk said...

Don't emoticons count as syllables?

Julie said...

I work in a school
So I'm doomed to get this thing.
Boy, haikus are hard.

Octopunk said...

Hey, remember SARS?
One fact underplayed by press:
Two percent death rate

Julie said...

Big sale on bacon
for those who live in Egypt.
Whole lot of dead pigs.

Octopunk said...

Tell this Blake person
To expect retribution
Pig head in his bed

nowandzen said...

I had to miss again, but here is my late entry for the spirit of HHD:


Pulp Fiction Haiku
Bacon's good sausage is good
Filthy Animal