Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Haiku Hump Day

Going off the subject from last week....I wanted to do something that is very near and dear to my heart:

CANDY!


From the old favorites,

To the attempts at something new.



Those we love,



And those we loathe.



All I know is - I couldn't go without it!

67 comments:

JPX said...

I love candy corn
I'm in the minority
But I'm also right

My favorite treat?
Original M&Ms
Brown ones are the best

I never could stand
Sour Patch or similar
Why torture your mouth?

JPX said...

Never leave candy
In the car in the summer
You will find a mess

Never liked hot balls
Candy shouldn't be painful
And the name is bad

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Candy corn is great
If you like eating candles
made out of sugar

Snickers are just wrong
Nuts are s'posed to be salty
As God intended

Created in Hell
To destroy all of mankind
Peeps are disgusting

There is no wrong way
To eat peanut butter cups
Anal ingestion?

JPX said...

You knock candy corn?
Yet eat Triscuts like candy
Why not eat tree bark?

HandsomeStan said...

Grew up near Hershey
Weekend trips to Chocolate World
14 cavities

HandsomeStan said...

Some forms of torture:
Waterboarding, starvation,
And Circus Peanuts

HandsomeStan said...

Hazy memory
Bag of sugar with a stick
Lik-m-Aid, really?

Got hours to kill
One Bit-O-Honey should do
Chew. And chew. ...And chew.

HandsomeStan said...

Did I really buy
Wax bottles with juice inside?
Apparently so

HandsomeStan said...

Now & Later chews
I only heard the first half
I'll have those Now, thanks

JPX said...

Nothing is grosser
Than eating nougat candy
When you have braces

Remember moon pies?
Technically they're not candy
Heaven in pie form

AC said...

candy is dandy,
liquor is quicker? i say,
candy's quick enough.

AC said...

does the word "chocolate"
have two syllables or three?
i'm stuck till i know!

AC said...

in high school i sold
m&ms for fundraising.
ate them all myself. :(

AC said...

deprived of candy
by 70s "healthy" mom;
backlash, anyone?

AC said...

you can get custom
print on m&ms but it's
wicked expensive.

AC said...

topic compelled me
to buy after-lunch cookie.
not candy, but good.

AC said...

one of our post-docs
needs to ration candy corn
or eats herself sick.

Julie said...

This is so timely.
I made great candy gift bags.
For my friend's shower.

I'm a believer.
The therapeutic value
Of candy is fact.

When things got tough here,
My mom hit bottom, and I
Had to rescue her

I scarfed the candy
Mixed chocolate and gummy
In my mouth--munch, yum.

Nothing worked like that.
Sweet taste of peanut butter
And jelly belly

So much more helpful
Than conversations with friends.
Ate bag after bag.

JPX said...

Secret recipe
Popcorn and Reese's Pieces
Best combination!

I learned this at work
The old Showcase Cinemas
We ushers knew all

HandsomeStan said...

Oh my sizzling tongue
Wash down Pop Rocks with some Coke
Exploding child

JPX said...

Don't like Cracker Jacks
"Secret toy surprise" indeed
"Surprise" is it sucks

HandsomeStan said...

Pass me some Bonkers
Look out! Giant fucking fruit!
Dangerous candy

HandsomeStan said...

Childhood cocaine
Pixy Stix, crushed Smarties
It WAS the 80s

Johnny Sweatpants said...

No chocolate for me
I prefer nature's candy
Apples, pears and grapes

JPX said...

Handsome, I must ask
What in the world are Bonkers?
Where did you grow up?

Catfreeek said...

Hot damn, great topic!
Just dip me in chocolate
roll me in sprinkles.

Dove, Butterfinger
Kit Kat, Payday or Snickers
I just can't decide

Oh for fuck's sake just
Give me a choco I.V.
Yeah, now we're talkin'

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Showcase Pic & Mix
I stole it by the fistful
I regret nothing

Appropriate name
Greatest 90's invention:
"Nutrageous" bar

I used to like Nerds
I used to like lots of crap
Milli Vanilli

JPX said...

Oh yeah, Pic & Mix
I consumed vast quantities
Now I'm sick of it

My other favorite?
Whoppers! Yep, that's right, Whoppers.
I love chok'lit balls

AC said...

pet peeve: parents who
eat kids' halloween candy.
(cuz i'm no parent).

Julie said...

Candy for breakfast
Is one of the great perks of
being an adult.

HandsomeStan said...

Bonkers commercials:
Eat chewy candy. Big fruit
Falls, bonks you on head

Just Google "Bonkers"
Like Starburst but fruitier
"Bonkers! Bonks ya out!"

Julie said...

Fun combination:
Hot Tamales in Twizzlers.
Chewy and spicy.

Julie said...

Chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp.
Nom nom nom nom nom. Chomp chomp.
Candy is so good.

Julie said...

Plain M&Ms best.
Stop with the nuts already.
And "Mini"? Fuck that.

Julie said...

Cadbury cream eggs
Gross but good. Good but gross, right?
Those are some weird shit.

Julie said...

Agree: peeps from hell.
Who know that Satan would look
All squishy and cute?

HandsomeStan said...

Stan's lonely viewpoint:
"Switzers" better than "Twizzlers"
Juicier licorice!

HandsomeStan said...

Good n' Plenty: ehh
Not so "Good." Don't need "Plenty."
Black licorice: No Fun

miko564 said...

Hershey as a kid
Godiva as an adult
Keeps me fat through life

Catfreeek said...

Sweet manna of Gods
Peanutbutter m&m's
eat by the fist full

Damn all you people
Been dieting for weeks, now
I want some candy!

Secretly wondered
How Chef's chok'lit salty balls
on South Park tasted

miko564 said...

Almond Joy? What Joy?
Coconut is for old folks,
Who like hard candy

miko564 said...

We smuggle Twizzlers
They don't sell them in Sweden
Thus..."candy suitcase"

miko564 said...

Yes, I am alive
No, I don't have an excuse
Sorry. Screw you JSP

Catfreeek said...

Choc covered pretzels
I used to love them...until
that scene from Mall Rats

In my opinion
One of the best creations
is the Swedish Fish

So it's not candy
Still I must give kudos
to Desroc's creme brulee

Catfreeek said...

A strange candy that
My mom is addicted to
are Horehound candies

A waste of sugar
Circus peanuts, peeps and yes
nasty candy corn

AC said...

having miko back
on the blog is better than
any damn candy. :)

HandsomeStan said...

Oh Henry! Hot Balls!
Baby Ruth's Mounds and Whoppers
Make Nerds Blow Whistles

AC said...

desroc's creme brulee!
i may never stop drooling.
(brulee beats candy).

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Screw the candy bar
Just hand me a slab of fudge
2 minutes alone

Johnny Sweatpants said...

You say what you will
Old bitties know their candy
Example: gumdrops

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Yellow always sucks
Starburst, Life Savers, Skittles
I'd rather eat socks

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Fat man's candy bar:
Tube of Tollhouse cookie dough
An afternoon snack

Catfreeek said...

Ah the Charm's blow pop
delicious sweet candy lick
followed by gum treat

Bad day to diet
Peanutbutter m&m's
just had to buy them

What are they really?
remake of old Wonka treat
first oompah-loompa's

Catfreeek said...

So disappointed
Everlasting gobstoppers
don't last forever

Puffed up, full of air
Sweet treat they no longer make
the chocolite bar

HandsomeStan said...

Remember "Zero?"
Aptly-named bar of candy
With zero appeal

JPX said...

Going to grandma's
Bowls filled with ribbon candy
Old lady's delight

Catfreeek said...

Some sweet memories
walking to Jake's, Maple ave
Penny candy bliss

JPX said...

Ah, penny candy!
Often cost more than one cent
False advertising

Catfreeek said...

Fist full of pennies
a case full of sweet heaven
those little brown bags

Chinese fortune gum
Bought solely for it's wisdom
the gum tastes like ass

Chewing til jaw hurt
For Bazooka Joe comics
ten got you free stuff

Necco had Sky bar
4 flavors in just one bar
sure beat their wafers

JPX said...

Necco Wafers, yuck
Why not just sell kids armpits?
They sure taste the same

Candy Buttons, yuck
You end up eating paper
And the "dots" just suck

How 'bout candy coins?
Choc'lit treasure indeed
I'd rather have gold

HandsomeStan said...

It's all in the name
Milk Duds sound like a failure
But really quite good

Hershey Miniatures
Gimme all the Special Darks
Ditch all the Krackels

JPX said...

"Snack size" candy bars
Unsatisfying portion
A total insult

Tootsie-pop question,
How many licks does it take?
One when gum's inside

Julie said...

Twizzlers beat Red Vines.
Disagree? I'll beat your ass
With a big Twizzler.

Julie said...

Today,I combined
Swedish Fish and Gerber's Puffs.
Tasted like Fruit Loops.

Chris said...

In the lips it slides
Willing throat awaits the load.
Giant Pixy Stix.

Octopunk said...

One time in the shop
They swapped in a fake Twix bar
Brown clay over wood

This really happened
I thought it had melted weird
Took a careful bite

Wood cookie! Teeth stopped
Too late realized I'd been had
Coworkers guffawed

50PageMcGee said...

this is way late -- long day.

if your teeth fall out
candy corns in the sockets!
the white part, of course

i've got a sweet smile
and the sharp, serrated look
wards off predators

there's the yellow part
fits better in the sockets
but ewww! yellow teeth?