Friday, January 22, 2010

HHD Hair: And the winner is...

Here are the results with some hairtastic pictures of everyone. For your viewing pleasure I'll begin with a couple humiliating ones of myself.

"I was four years old

Chop, chop!! Hair all on the floor

Then they called me boy"

Me wearing a poodle

Gretchen was her usual sassy self when she stated,

"Caucasian regret?

I'll slap your face Handsome Stan

My fro is divine"

AC displayed an atypical rebellious nature when she stated,

"my mom is on me

to cover up my gray hair

so of course i don't"

Octo commented on the nature of fatherhood, I only wish I had a picture of the "bed-head" of his,

"Dadhood side effect

Breakfast, daycare, get to work

Oops! Still got bedhead"

Imagine my delight when I stumbled upon this Catfreeek picture, which she refers to in this haiku,

"Me in the '90's?

Think clubs like JR's fast lane 

Dyed red and teased up"

This was my favorite Catfreeek entry,

"Gretchen's Legacy

A family pic plus one

afro among them"

I liked this Monkee insult from JPX

"Is that Darth Vader?

Nope, it's only Davy Jones

Hair helmet fooled me"

JSP chose to ignore my Winnie Cooper/Davy Jones feud and came up with this little example of his mischievous nature,

"His name? "Harry Ball"

I crank called him constantly

{Before call waiting}"

The winner of Haiku Hair goes to the most dedicated McDonald's employee to ever work under the golden arches. He had many great haikus but this one stood out among the rest,

"Full hairy circle

Ears, moles, nipples and nostrils

These: the Wonder Hairs"

This is Monica, she was a childhood friend with one of the worst hairdos I've ever seen - we used to call her "Bobby Brady"

Congratulations, HandsomeStan!


Catfreeek said...

Congrats Stan!

Thanks for the HM Whirly and great job digging up all those embarrassing old pics of everyone:)

Catfreeek said...

Oh and JSP that Harry Ball one had me chuckling to myself over and over again. I could just imagine you torturing some poor old guy with witty crank calls.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Great wrapup Whirlygirl! I agree with Stan as the winner but I preferred his disses to Hogan and Bret Michaels.

Bret Michaels, same goes
Same bandana, same haircut
For 18 straight years

If you're in the mood for a good laugh, here's Bret getting clocked at the Tony Awards. I think I watched this clip about 17-18 times.

Seriously though "Harold Ball"? By not changing his name, he asked for it.

Harry: (picks up phone) Hello?

Me: *snickering* Is there one Harry Ball in your household or two? *quickly slams phone down on receiver and laughs ass off*

HandsomeStan said...

Oh, how awesome! Especially since I have yet to figure out how to cut my hair and/or style or wear it. Thank goodness I live in a country with baseball-hat-wearing as the (secondary) national pasttime. A poignant, gratifying reward. Thank you, Whirly!

I would vote this as the Best Wrap-Up HHD ever. Way to dig! (I can only imagine JPX had some of these gems lurking, and as I scrolled down, I knew it was only a matter of time before McDonald's popped up. AGAIN.)

I was really enjoying the Davy Jones vs. Winnie & Kevin Turf War, and I was intrigued by JSP's

Big, hairy rear end?
Or petite hairless buttocks?
The choice is yours, friend

Like, does one have a CHOICE between a fat ass or a petite one? Sure you can shave your buttcheeks, but that don't change the SIZE. Just like that JPX sand trap haiku, the mystery deepens...

Also from JSP:

There was this kid Chris
Hit puberty at age 9
Hairy, hairy man

There was a tumor
That had hair and teeth in it
Deeply disturbing

#1 - Yes. Mustache in 7th grade. True.
#2 - more intrigue. Really? Medically documented? TEETH? WTF?

Anyway, GREAT topic, Whirly! In doing "Crap Jobs" I was convinced we were actually out of topics, and now I'm going to spend the weekend obsessing over what to do next week. Your Intro and Outro were hilarious. Well done, and I am honored!

(Now if you win next week, people will start to talk...)

HandsomeStan said...

That Bret Michaels clip is downright BRILLIANT. They cut away. Did the thing keep coming down? Is he dead now?


Octopunk said...

Oh my god. That Bret Williams thing is high-larious. I just watched it three times (it's nice that it's only 12 seconds long).

It's like he gets clocked twice. Damn.

I've meant to get more haikuin' done both of these past few weeks, but my sparse efforts have been blown away. The feuding this week was awesome.

Congrats HandsomeStan! Nice work. I like this trend of non-pop culture haiku topics. I mean, I don't want to stop riffing pop culture (indeed, we'd have no Davy Jones or Wonder Years without it), but expansion on this front is a good idea for 2010.

Whirly! This was a singularly excellent winners post. I'm very impressed by your relentless research skills.

I for one was moved by JPX's "My whole hair life sucks" refrain. I think he's being overly hard on himself, but it's easy for me to talk. Despite the photographic evidence JPX spitefully hoards, the truth is I have great hair.

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AC said...

anonymous is right!

i've been spending my daily food money that system and have now retired to the bahamas. in addition to being rich, i am now thin due to putting all my food money toward online investments. and my hair has fallen out from malnutrition so i can sport any hairdo i goddamn please.

congratulations stan... now that i'm rich and thin i'll probably drop off the blog to jetset around the world, but good luck coming up with a new topic next week!

Octopunk said...

Hey AC, what the heck is going on in your hair pic? Is that a Halloween costume?

And now I'm off to spend 100 dollars on food for the day.

AC said...

octo, you're feeding zack that solid gold baby fud! right on.

re the photo, mr. ac photoshopped my face onto a runway model's body and hair. i almost went with phil spector hair (i would have had to keep my actual torso in that instance), but the whole murder thing had me too creeped out.