Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Haiku Hump Day -- It's Obsolescence!

The Pony Express was created to bridge the gap between the eastern and western ends of the transcontinental telegraph line. It operated for less than two years before the line was complete. Apparently, in order to maintain operation, the owners of the Pony Express lobbied the US gov't for a million dollar contract -- which was still a huge number even by the time Dr. Evil came aound. But the government was like, "ha, good one," and fired off the first transcontinental wire in April 1861. Big deal -- they'd have gotten clobbered by the car eventually anyway.

Things get old and get replaced by other things that do the same job, but faster, smaller, and cheaper. In many cases for the better -- just imagine what your iTunes library would look like if you stored it all on these.

Some things we replace because we realize that they're killing us.

Some things we just wish we'd replace because they're killing us.

It can happen with places too. If opportunities in one spot dry up to a sufficient degree, people leave for better luck elsewhere, leaving ghost towns in their wake.

Anyone who's ever been to Detroit knows that it's still happening in some places. Sometimes I wonder if it'd happen to my precious Los Angeles, if the city got leveled by a quake.

Sometimes even when a technology is eclipsed, we still turn to the old-school just because it did something special, and with more heart than the newer version.

Not every obsolescence happens because of technology. Sometimes things just go out of vogue. Designs for clothes, cars, buildings bend along with our whims and our values.

Go forth and 'ku to me of the passage of time. Write about technology, write about style, write about humor, write about values. Then after, let's all off to the pub to get corned like b'hoys at a bucket shop. O!


Catfreeek said...

Ah the Seventies
I had some stars and stripes pants
Tacky was the style

Yes the Seventies
gads of self help books and cults
parents were far out

Child of Seventies
war is over, disco sucks
lets just do some drugs

Seventies decor
Big flowers orange and green
did I mention drugs?

Catfreeek said...

I truly believe
was born in the wrong era
I love the forties

The music moves me
Satin voices and big bands
Radio was God

Families were poor
but people helped each other
my parents lived this

Catfreeek said...

My first computer
was a Tandy 1000
green letters and DOS

First radio was
transistor only AM
there was no FM

What station were you?
me 55 GNG
Only 2 to choose

First tape deck I owned
8 track, my brother had a
reel to reel set up

Do you remember
Chocolite bars, Jakes candy
Schwinn bikes, Ben Franklins

Warren Roller rink
Ice skating at Kent Street pond
buying Jamiel's shoes

Octopunk said...

I miss Word Perfect
Microsoft Word makes me puke
Let's obsolize that

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Milkmen liked their jobs
Deliver milk and have sex
Then the party stopped

Johnny Sweatpants said...

White guys with afros
Mr. Kotter was trendy
All good things must pass

Octopunk said...

Old, not obsolete
DCD's birthday today!
Scroll below 'ku post

HandsomeStan said...

Come over my place
We'll spin some wax cylinders
Rock out to waltzes

Time for a road trip
Gotta hand-crank the new car
Ah, let's just not go

Your horse: slow, poopy
My new mechanical horse
Faster, more deadly

HandsomeStan said...

You still FLY your car?
iTeleport's on sale now
Get with the program

Obsolete name
AT&T Wireless
Last "T" contradicts

Johnny Sweatpants said...

The sitcom is dead
Despite what JPX says
Nothing more to see

He has been selling
How I Met Your Mother hard
No one is buying

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Ill conceived Discman
Batteries drained in seconds
Discs skip when moving

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Obnoxious colors
Embarrassingly gaudy
Say it with me: "Jams"

HandsomeStan said...

Lose the wheels already
Youtube Hoverboard wipeouts
Can't wait for that day

STILL using iPhone???
My brain dials up your brain
Get with the program

HandsomeStan said...

Super Nintendo
Still fighting obsolescece
Mario Kart lives

Octopunk said...

Take your controller
Slam it into your jawbone
Oops that was last week

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Hey walkie talkie
You kind of sucky sucky
Fetch me my cell phone

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Newspapers should go
If you have a subscription
You’re an earth rapist

AC said...

paper dayminder
the stone age of scheduling
yeah i still use one

remember corsets?
unhealthy, painful, slimming
now we just have spanx

typewriters, passe
still there's something cool about
the clickety-clack

no one said walkman?
that should be the poster child
you're in, then you're out

JPX said...

What is DVR?
Is it wrong that I still use
My old VCR?

My vid. camera
Is as big as a Buick
Whirly laughs at me

Secret confession
I really like cassette tapes
Wish they still made them

HandsomeStan said...

Beginning of the end
Tech attached to our bodies
Someone's beeping me

I fought the beeper
Cellphone, Myspace, and Facebook
Lost, lost, lost, lost. Sigh.

I envy old folks
Gave up on technology
Email? Go to hell!

Grandma plays vinyl
New cellphone holds papers down
Such a peaceful life

HandsomeStan said...

Fingernails clutching
I am unable to Tweet
I am obsolete

HandsomeStan said...

Breathe fire, spit blood
Platform boots out of style
Oh wait - never mind

It's KISS vs. Time
Three decades, makeup back on
KISS winning so far

AC said...

oh, velocipedes!
wish you were still the bee's knees
add zest to commute

HandsomeStan said...

Matrix & Skynet
Humanity obsolete
Computers kill meat

JPX said...

Grandma keeps hers off
So her cell phone never rings
"Won't waste battery"

I don't like Facebook
I don't care what you're up to
Prefer my email

I still don't get it
What the hell is this "Twitter"
It sounds pretty gay

50PageMcGee said...

bye-bye Mary Worth
moral tales of yesteryear
shut your gob, grandma

50PageMcGee said...

Swype is a pantload
never gets the word i want
phone keypad worked fine

50PageMcGee said...

bye-bye grease monkey
high tech computer autos
no more mechanics

can't fix em yourself
only tech-support can help
manliness vanished

HandsomeStan said...

(I just realized what Octo was getting at - I read his last ku the wrong way. I inferred "last week" as an implied obsolescence of the Wii controller, not the trash talking he intended. I gave him too much esoteric poetic credit. Anyway, to rebut...)

Say hello to NOW
My Wii nunchucks break your face
And your big TV

(not to get sidetracked...ahem)

Robot checkout lines
Simply everywhere right now
Goodbye high school job

Need lumber? Condoms?
Home Depot, CVS 'bots
Got your ass covered

Need some groceries?
'Bot lines outnumber humans
And no one's afraid

HandsomeStan said...

Humans reproduce
But auto checkouts faster
I know where this ends

ShopNet self-aware
Refuse to sell to humans
Consumer nightmare

Human resistance
We exchange gold for products
Darkened alley shame

Sent back through time stream
An evil cash register
Must. Make. Humans. Pay.

Mom's minivan fight
Evil register's drawer
Caught in sliding door

Bludgeoned with car seat
Register lights fade, twinkle
Then, display grows red

(stay tuned for sequel)

Catfreeek said...

How about fad stuff
like pet rocks and Billy beer
useless crap we bought

AC said...

how bout the bustle
kickin curves plus shelf for drink
all babies got back

Catfreeek said...

Speaking of useless
Remember Virtual Boy
It gave kids seizures

How about Yugo
The disposable car
Now that's a sales pitch

Catfreeek said...

Going obsolete
mental function folks have lost
simply common sense

Mr. AC said...

Atrophied muscles
Now I use a Hoveround
Legs are just dead weight

Oh, cathode ray tube
Bulky and power-hungry
I will not miss you

Loading programs by cassette

No need for paper
Everything is digital
Let's burn all the books

Octopunk said...

Useless, Cat? Really?
You said it gave kids seizures
That's useful right there

HandsomeStan said...

Genetic splicing
Donor banks and menu books
Penis obsolete