Friday, June 25, 2010

I'd Rather Drown: EMILY The Robo-Lifeguard


From geekology, EMILY may look like a porpoise wearing a Red Cross tent, but she's actually a robo-lifeguard. One that will undoubtedly turn a blind, robotic eye if you ever cramp up in the surf.

"This summer, EMILY (for EMergency Integrated Lifesaving lanYard) began patrolling Malibu's dangerous Zuma Beach and will watch over about 25 more by December. Although lifeguards operate this version by remote control, next year's model will autonomously save potential drowning victims as reliably as a human. Once a lifeguard tosses EMILY into the surf, its sonar device will scan for the underwater movements associated with swimmers in distress. Its electric, Jet Ski-like impeller drives it at 28 mph through even the roughest chop, getting a flotation device--itself--to victims six times as fast as a lifeguard would. The 'bot's camera and speakers will let an onshore lifeguard calm the person and instruct him to wait for human help or to hold on as EMILY ferries him back."

I don't really understand how the sonar differentiates between a drowning victim and a swimmer, but I do know I'd rather take my chances with a shark. And by take my chances I mean gouge that son of a bitch in the eyes and ride it to Australia. Then set up camp in a kangaroo's pouch.

6 comments:

HandsomeStan said...

When Skynet becomes self-aware, these things will be hunting people, not saving them.

Octopunk said...

I think it's cute that you think they're gonna wait until then.

Okay, EMILY from "EMergency Integrated Lifesaving lanYard?" I'll let the EM pass, but lanYard? So we can just pick any letter in a word to be its initial? That means USA could be NAM.

HandsomeStan said...

I am AUO right now.

Octopunk said...

See? I have no idea what that means.

HandsomeStan said...

lAughing oUt lOud, duh.

Octopunk said...

Auo myself!

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...