Monday, October 03, 2016

Shark Lake

(2015) *

Clint Gray (Dolph “I must break you” Lundgren) is a black-market species dealer who releases a (pregnant) shark into Lake Tahoe while evading police (?) After arrest he loses his daughter and is put in jail for years. Finally paroled he attempts to live a normal life. This proves difficult when people start dying horribly in the lake by a family of sharks. Thanks, Clint.

‘Shark Lake’ attempts some overtures of characterization with the heart-of-gold, ‘flawed’ Clint and his ex-wife cop who does not want him spending time with their daughter. But let’s face it, no one cares about that. You want to know about the sharks, right? Before I get to that let’s make things clear; Shark Lake is every shark movie you’ve ever seen (Why is it that no one can improve upon JAWS, which came out 40 years ago?). Let’s run down the list:

A town authority figure who believes that there is no shark problem? Check

A big vacation weekend coming up where there will be lots of tourism? Check

A Chief Brody character? Check

Finding an arm: (check)*

Never really showing the shark until the climactic battle: Check

The sharks? Director Jerry Dugan wisely keeps the sharks hidden for most of the film save a cartoon fin appearing once in a while. When we finally get to see the sharks they look like soft rubber. This is a low, low budget film. Lundgren would have been better off making a cameo in one of the Sharknado sequels. Skip it!

*I’m not really sure that happened in JAWS


Catfreeek said...

Ugh, love the checklist but it sounds like that's all there is to love.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Shit Lake.

AC said...

Hah hah Spinal Tap reference! And thanks for taking this one for the team, JPX.

DKC said...

That checklist is gold! Too bad about the movie though.