Tuesday, October 25, 2016

The Amityville Terror

(2016) **

Todd, along with his wife Jessica and their petulant teenage daughter, Hailey, move into his sister’s sprawling home for temporary housing as the family copes with some recent upheaval. Hailey is unhappy to be there and constantly clashes with her free-spirited aunt. Her mood does not improve when she starts attending high school and runs into a clique of mean girls who attempt to annoy her at every turn. Meanwhile as the family juggles to adapt to their new life, otherworldly things begin to happen in the house. There are strange noises, smells, and Mike’s sister seems possessed. Befriending a local boy, Hailey begins to learn about her home’s dark history and it is a race with the clock to get her family out of the house.

This is the 13th Amityville film of the (almost) 40 year franchise, who knew? I thought I had kept up with the series but a sip of coffee and a quick Google search shamed me. Let’s face it; The Amityville films have never been good. Seriously, have you watched the original recently? It’s terrible and scare-free. Still, there is something fun about the whole idea of a house that fucks with you. Like the Hellraiser film series, the Amityville films have been direct-to-video for years now which means extra gore and at least two boobs. “The Amityville Terror” is really no better/no worse than any of the films in the series and it’s somewhat of a return to form given that a lot of the other installments focus on other things such possessed lamps or dollhouses rather than the mean house. Fun schlock.

3 comments:

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I can't believe there are 13 films in this dumb series! How is that even possible?

Trevor said...

13 films?!? That is absurd. I wonder, is Amityville just considered open-source material? Can anybody make an amityville movie? The Conjuring 2 also opened with a miniature Amityville story too, so, I wonder...

DKC said...

Two boobs? Like on the same person or two random, different boobs?