Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Haiku Hump Day = WAYS TO DIE

Forgive me for the half assedness of today's topic but it was after all a surprise victory. I figured I should go with something morbid to kick off Horrorthon 2009. How would you prefer to die? What would be the absolute worst way to die? Death, blood, carnage, suffering, torture, etc!



BZZZZZZZ!!



Peaceful way to go or utterly terrifying?



Wheeeeee!



Burning to death can't possibly be fun.



Old age?

44 comments:

AC said...

MI during sex
works well for the decedent
not the survivor(s)

HandsomeStan said...

Heroin, nitrous,
Skydive with no parachute
While getting blow job

Catfreeek said...

How the hell do you top that!!

JPX said...

Dying in my sleep
Is the only way to go
No stress and no mess

If I died at home
How long before people knew?
I figure two weeks

My greatest death fear?
I don't want to poop myself
Wait, what do I care?

AC said...

can't top stan's haiku but can potentially enhance it:

...into grand canyon
with oral sex pro wearing
leia slave costume

JPX said...

Die with dignity
You don't want to poop yourself
So embarrassing

If I knew I'd die
I would poop the day before
Then I'd die in peace

Catfreeek said...

Sheet of acid, tunes
and a field of butterflies
may I never wake

Worst death just might be
getting buried alive, yikes!
Unless you're Uma

Catfreeek said...

JPX death fear
to die like Elvis Presley
while taking a poop

JPX said...

Falling, drown, fire
All terrible ways to die
Bad things to survive

HandsomeStan said...

Being burned alive
While alligator eats you
Probably not fun

Going for spacewalk
Whoops! Lost hold of the tether
Stupid Newton's Laws

When push comes to shove
There's only one way to go
Death By Orgasm

Catfreeek said...

Get eaten alive
a pack of hungry zombies
and no one films it

HandsomeStan said...

Nuclear explosion
Not bad if you're Ground Zero
whiteHOT oh I'm dead

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Clay Aiken’s singing
While red ants eat you alive
In Oklahoma

Johnny Sweatpants said...

What about that guy
Who died being sodomized
By a horny horse

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Fall into outhouse
You refuse to consume shit
So you starve to death

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Death by a Yankee
Jeter punches you to death
With World Series ring

AC said...

it would really suck
to be killed by a patient
happens all the time

also wouldn't like
demon spawn chewing their way
out of my torn womb

Catfreeek said...

In the hospital
Old Dr Kevorkian
hits you in error

Great stuff, Make a Wish
Get what you always wanted
but must die for it

Honor or disgrace
to be Darwin Award death
worthy of our laughs

Catfreeek said...

One question, so if
Make a Wish patients don't die
do they have to pay?

Skinned alive then put
in a vat of salt water
then some alcohol

Like in that Thai flick
boiling water poured down throat
and over body

JPX said...

It wouldn't be bad
Although it sounds pretty bad
To be beheaded

How long would you live?
Probably just a second
One sucky second

Catfreeek said...

Beheading would suck
if your head had turned around
and you saw the stump

Torture would be hell
when you know there is no hope
for release after

"I Spit on Your Grave"
Castrated, bled out in tub
feels so good it hurts

Catfreeek said...

Old age ups and downs
Nice to see your kids grow up
death will involve poop

Slipping in the tub
you'd be found wet and naked
worse if it's with poop

Choking to death sucks
alone and can't self-heimlich
humiliating

Octopunk said...

If I had to go
I would leap from tall building
Explode halfway down

Octopunk said...

Comment on review
Of Godzilla 2000
Or I will kill you

Catfreeek said...

Whew, I commented
I guess that means that I'll live
and you all will die

Octopunk said...

That's right! I'm patient
Cat returns with the pizza
Hi, pile of corpses!

50PageMcGee said...

couldn't fight him off
too many fond memories
zombie octopunk

50PageMcGee said...

zombie JSP
death at his hands not from bite
played KISS till i died

50PageMcGee said...

zombie freeeek attack?
like pants, no bites -- smothering
Thon review landslide

50PageMcGee said...

handsome stan's attack
he'll say, "let's totally hang!"
die of old age first

50PageMcGee said...

no zombie jordan
if bitten, he'd off himself
how considerate!

50PageMcGee said...

Sarlacc? Not so bad
Millenial Digestion
But you're dead in days

50PageMcGee said...

oh - i looked it up
alive throughout digestion
oh my god, that sucks

JPX said...

Terminal illness
The knowledge that one will die
I would kill myself

Slowly bleeding out
And being aware of it
Is an awful death

I'll sleep when I'm dead
No, I'm going to sleep right now
I stayed up too late

Don't care if I die
I just don't want it to hurt
And I hope its quick

50PageMcGee said...

heard a (true) story
guy cut off his own damn head
with a straight razor

minor league catcher
took an axe to wife and kids
then did himself in

can you imagine?
what a mess that must've been
think i'm kidding? Link!

Catfreeek said...

Darwin deaths are fun
man died from a 3 liter
sherry enema

Mr. AC said...

A bad way to die:
Slowly cooked to death in an
Easy bake oven

Another bad death:
Being eaten alive by
A toothless geezer

Being strangled by
One's own unravelled testes
Would certainly suck

Bloody mound of pulp
An infomercial gone bad
Murder by Ped Egg

50PageMcGee said...

a bad death - shark bite
totally sucks at the time
a good story though.

but whom do you tell?
"Lord, check this awesome shark bite!"
"I saw, my son. Rad."

HandsomeStan said...

Small sword: plunge in gut
Yank upward. Then left to right.
Samurais have BALLS

HandsomeStan said...

Most comedic death
Invisible Swordsman shot
I'm sure he was shocked

HandsomeStan said...

Dying by laughter
Probably hurts like a bitch
But it's so FUNNY

HandsomeStan said...

Suck the balloon down
With a thousand feet to go
Gold bikini scraps

HandsomeStan said...

Cherry blossoms fall
Life but a fleeting moment
Oh fuck! Sword in gut!

HandsomeStan said...

We live life forward
Only understood backward
Death has the answers