I planned on writing a longer and what I hoped would be a funnier post, but I unfortunately pulled a muscle in my neck, which has left me bed ridden for the past couple of days. I didn’t want to flake out on another haiku Wednesday, so I’m instead giving you the condensed picture packed version.
I’m optimistic that hair is a topic brimming with haiku potential. Most of us have had bad haircuts, and if not we’ve certainly seen them. Though, hair is not just on the head. Think about the man at the beach with a back like a bear, or the woman behind the counter of the gas station just shy of a full-grown beard.
The mullet, the only hair do that has the best of both worlds. I’ve included extra images, since it is my personal favorite.
Kid mullet
Very hairy
Yeah, yeah, I know I haven’t covered all the places where hair grows, but since this is a family blog, you’ll all have to use your imaginations.
62 comments:
80s glam metal
Hey look! That poodle can sing!
Oh wait - it's a dude
Caucasian regret
Why can't we grow afros too?
A sphere of cool hair
Oh yes, my hair cut
It's been the same all my life
I fear any change
I know it's silly
But I don't know what to do
I fear looking worse
It's true I use gel
Without it I look crazy
Think 'giant mushroom'
I envy others
Comfortable with their haircuts
I struggle daily
Why can't stress GROW hair?
I would look like Cousin Itt
Hippies would be bald
When I was a kid
I sported a bowl haircut
My whole hair life sucks
When I start graying
I will dye it right away
Will die with dark hair
Ear hair is just gross
Once had a boss with a lot
Couldn't stop staring
I can't stand shaving
A painful experience
sigh, I'm sensitive
"My hair is my life!"
So JPX burned that guy
Silly headbanger
Neil Armstrong of hair
First pornstar to shave privates
Total game-changer
One small step for porn
Giant leap for crotch grooming
Shave those nipples, too
When I was in school
A kid once called me "Bowl Head"
That hurt my feelings
It was Gideon
Who insulted me that way
Made fun of his name
enlighten me: how
can massage therapists stand
rubbing hairy flesh?
Job security:
Open a grooming salon
On planet Kashyyk
Under the lip hair
Why is it called a "soul patch"?
Obese guys like them
Caucasian regret?
I'll slap your face Handsome Stan
My fro is divine
Dated a guy once
Discovered his shoulder hair
and sent him packing
Nose hair and ear hair
in abundance is so gross
get a trimmer dude!
This mean girl in school
liked to threaten and scare me
her hair like brillo
I once knew this guy
with a big hairy ass mole
better ass than face
Got a perm one time
my hair takes curl very well
gave me poodle head
Me in the '90's?
Think clubs like JR's fast lane
Dyed red and teased up
Macho Man, Hogan
Your bandanas fool no one
Cue balls, both of you
Bret Michaels, same goes
Same bandana, same haircut
For 18 straight years
Sinead O'Connor
Bad celebrity hairdo
Amy Winehouse too
Worst hair affliction
to Jojo the dog faced boy
only side show work
Worst experience
Eating in a restaurant
found hair, looks pubic
All my kitties think
everything tastes much better
with cat hair on it
Gretchen's Legacy
A family pic plus one
afro among them
Mohawk or faux-hawk
Unless you ARE Mr.T
You shouldn't do it
Unshaved botanist
Also commonly known as
(cough) hairy potter
After season 1
What happened to Mike Brady?
He had an afro
Come to think of it
All the Brady males got perms
Were all of them gay?
Ratings plummeted
When Erin Grey went brunette
My crush stayed steady
When Keri Russell
Decided to cut her hair
Felicity bombed
HAIR: the musical
hippie propaganda plus
hirsute nudity
my mom is on me
to cover up my gray hair
so of course i don't
"dorothy hamill"
plus braces plus thick glasses
13 kind of sucked
Stopped dying my hair
because of balding old hags
in beauty parlor
Chemical damage
which causes tragic fallout
no, more like fall out
I want to see Hair
I hear that it's very good
I want to see boobs
Hairy backs and more
Whirly's pics, so disturbing
I may have nightmares
Men covered in hair
Good argument for Darwin
Clearly Simian
When hairy men wash
they shampoo entire bod.
No need for the soap
JPX at Hair
Seeing lots of hair and boobs
just not hairy boobs
A simple query
How can girls stand guys with beards?
They're all coarse and gross
His name? "Harry Ball"
I crank called him constantly
{Before call waiting}
Big, hairy rear end?
Or petite hairless buttocks?
The choice is yours, friend
Bad faux-hawk styler
only spikes up front center
making PeeWee's doo
There was this kid Chris
Hit puberty at age 9
Hairy, hairy man
There was a tumor
That had hair and teeth in it
Deeply disturbing
Head down on your desk
Nurse sifts through hair with a comb
Lice check in grade school
Many empty desks
Whispers heard, notes passed around
Nurse found the lice heads
Curling iron hot
Sizzle, tease, hardening spray
Hideous display
I was four years old
Chop, chop!! Hair all on the floor
Then they called me boy
Hours in bathroom
Just trying to get it big
My bangs always limp
Excuse me one moment
Kevin and Winnie photos?
That's gayer than gay
Cheer up sleepy Jean
Oh what can it mean to a
Daydream believer?
Shove it, Davy Jones
Aren't your glory days over?
Is it bald or gray?
Come on, Davy Jones
Gonna let the Coop talk smack
Do I smell chicken?
Poor Winnie Cooper
Kevin married another
Someone who put out
Let's lay out the rules
It has to be about hair
Any and all hair
Hey caterpillar
Oops, Davy, those your eyebrows?
Here are some tweezers
Wonder Years sister
I'd do that dirty hippie
Hairy pits and all
It's hard to find fault
My hair is so so perfect
So don't waste your breath
Now children behave
Winnie brings up a good point
Davy, eyebrow wax
Pass the bowl, Davy
The one balanced on your head
Oh, it's a bowl cut
Don't knock Winnie's hair
She has a classic hairdo
True, she's a bit cold
Is that Darth Vader?
Nope, it's only Davy Jones
Hair helmet fooled me
Oh, kevin, listen!
You know why I won't put out?
It's your hairy butt
Worst hairdo ever
Has got to be the beehive
Big, bold, butt ugly
Winnie you're frigid
I'd like to mess up your hair
Would do you some good!
I kissed Kirk McCray
And all the other guys
They had better hair
Would you like some soup?
Your bowl looks empty, Davy
Oh, it is your hair
Full hairy circle
Ears, moles, nipples and nostrils
These: the Wonder Hairs
Stan takes a shower
Shampoo, conditioner, wash
No hair in the drain
MrsX takes one
Shampoo, conditioner, wash
Afro in the drain
Man mullet purpose:
Short hair for work, long for play
Femullet, just bad.
And hair extensions
Gluing other hair to yours
Black people CRAY-zee
Dadhood side effect
Breakfast, daycare, get to work
Oops! Still got bedhead
Dissing Davey's do?
After all he's given you?
You should be ashamed
Now I'm all upset
Girl, look what you've done to me
Me and my whole world
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