Wednesday, June 02, 2010

HHD: Concerts

Surprise! Just kidding. I know this is a completely self-serving topic, but we horrorthonners are a music-loving bunch, and there have to be some good concert-related tales out there that can be conveyed in 17 syllables. So tell me about great shows and crappy shows, old favorites and new discoveries, backstage passes and afterparties, and oh yes, don't neglect your own concert performance exploits!


Catfreeek said...

My boyfriend named Space
punching moshers in the face
as they closed in, GWAR!

Bleeding, wretched vile
Covered head to toe in slime
good times were had, GWAR!

Ears ringing, head spins
Michael Jackson castrated
blood shot to face, GWAR!

Catfreeek said...

Obnoxious rocker
drunk and puking in the stands
he missed the whole show

What's that tiny spec
oh yeah it's the lead singer
nosebleed seats again

Waiting for my song
Finally! The whole crowd sings
drowning out the band

JPX said...

Motley Crue concert
Some thug borrowed my lighter
He got a surprise

I made adjustments
So it was a flamethrower
He got a surprise

I should have warned him
His greasy hair didn't help
He got a surprise

Hair caught on fire
I shouldn't have laughed at him
I got a surprise

He tore my shirt off
And then he tried to kill me
Yep, I ran away

Had to buy a shirt
$20 for a shirt
It looked pretty cool

Took that shirt to school
I looked cool in track practice
I wore it often

Thug had the last laugh
I went to put on my shirt
One fall afternooon

Opened my locker
Someone had stolen my shirt!
I miss that damn shirt

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I caught Nirvana
Did any of you see them?
I think not, I win

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Where the Hell am I?
Woken... up in a... mosh pit
I must be at - GWAR!

First concert: Monkees
Davey sported a mullet
I'm a believer

Checked off some legends
Dylan, Bowie, Fleetwood Mac
They need to let go

The only legend
Who still has the fire inside
Iggy Fucking Pop

Verve in '94
A Man Called Sun in the sun

Phish live sans the drugs
Pure guitar masturbation
Fuck yourself, hippies

JPX said...

Well I caught Pink Floyd
Did any of you see them?
I think not, I win

JPX said...

I've seen KISS 8 times
Guess who announced new tour dates?
Get ready for 9!

JPX said...

At a Monkees show
Three Monkees walked right past us
We slapped them all "five"

Leaning towards Davey
Our JSP screamed, "DAVEY!"
Right into his ear

Whirlygirl said...

I saw Bobby Brown
Did any of you see him?

I think not, I win

How about New Kids

Did any of you see them?

I think not, I win

Johnny Sweatpants said...

That Crue shirt kicked ass
I feel JPX's pain
"Theatre" of pain

AC said...

jethro tull not good
plus the audience scared me
trashed aging bikers

dave brubeck quartet
dave was in his late eighties
they tore the roof off

AC said...

concert tradition
if the show's at the garden
jeff's sweaty pizza

JPX said...

I love that pizza!
It's true that it makes me sweat
Gross, I know, but good!

My first show ever
Duran Duran in Worcester
It's respectable

The next day I learned
That there were lots of encores
I left before this

Thought it was over
When Simon said, "Thank you, 'Nite!"
Yep, I was a dope

HandsomeStan said...

Beta Band Boston
Show closed with a drum solo
Show's in the Top 3

Even Sweatpants' wife
Couldn't bring down the evening
Plus we had great drugs

HandsomeStan said...

99 New Years
Phish, Florida, strong mushrooms
Apocalypse Then

HandsomeStan said...

Fireworks & shrooms
End of world as we know it
It was a rough trip

JSP's lament
Wife, me trying to kill him
It was a rough trip

Just finding the tent
A joyous celebration
It was a rough trip

Car hood, stars, nitrous
I finished the night ok
Trip wasn't so bad

Catfreeek said...

Queen, Page/Plant, Ted Nugent
Have any of you seen them?
I think not, I win

First concert was lame
John Denver with my parents
told you it was lame

Grateful Dead many times
Best shows in the whole wide world
Yes I'm dissing Phish

Went to a Phish show
didn't quite have the same heart
and we lost our car

Further Fest, trippin'
Hot Tuna did two great sets
Stole the whole damn show

Saw Tool at Club Babyhead
right next to the stage

Catfreeek said...

What's that on the stage?
A large worm devouring fans
Oh that's right it's GWAR!

Bette Midler concert
My friend and I wedged within
wall to wall gay men

The only straight folks
at Ani DiFranco show
sea of hairy pits

Bad Company show
got punched by a hairy dude
he's bad company

Octopunk said...

These are great stories
I know I can't quite compete
Don't see many shows

Plus I'm paranoid
Last week's Station fire haiku
Offended Johnny

Not contest comments
But in the results comments
It got no response

Point is I'm sorry
You don't suck at surviving
And for that I'm glad

Octopunk said...

Nice buzzkill, Octo!
Please resume revelry tales
I'll throw in a few

Jazz show at Warfield
Kind strangers took care of me
Forgot to get high

Fillmore with Johnny
Wife would not see Paul Stanley
Octo's up for it

Friendly biker chicks
Surround our spot on the floor
Trade KISS anecdotes

Paul Stanley's the dude
Thanked fans for his awesome life
Earned Octo-respect

The tunes not so much
Hard rock is not my language
I get it, but don't

AC said...

i'm mad at johnny
his haiku forced me to buy
iggy pop ticket

Catfreeek said...

You'll be thrilled AC
Iggy's an amazing man
never lost his edge

So my prediction
AC will thank the Johnster
after the concert

HandsomeStan said...

Worst Phish show ever
Prince Caspian DID NOT END
Hate that fucking song

HandsomeStan said...

Pantera mosh pit
Dude was bleeding from eyeball
Time for bathroom break

Made out with some chick
After underage drinking
Good Pantera show

She came for Zombie
And they kicked Pantera's ass
Bought album next day

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Live along the sea!
*Shoots self in the face*

AC said...

saw the dead a lot
but rarely if ever high
just liked the music

AC said...

as i get older
earplugs are necessity
end of an era :(

HandsomeStan said...

White Zombie/Anthrax
Blew Anthrax off fucking stage
Goddamn these guys rock

Just keep screaming "Yeah!"
Throw in a "Mothafucka!"
Rob Zombie knows all

HandsomeStan said...

The Dead in Tampa
Giant turtle on the stage
Turned into rabbit *

(* = animals not actually present)

Octopunk said...

Guy two rows up pukes long time
Then makes out with chick

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Rocky Point highlight
Chili Peppers and Pearl Jam
Plus Smashing Pumpkins

Drove to Virginia
Pumpkins Siamese Dream tour
Mindblowingly good

Kraftwerk on the beach
Spain, Mediterranean
Yes there were robots

The Strokes, Paradise
Right before a record deal
Blew Doves off the stage

The White Stripes 1st tour
High octane back to back gigs
Providence, Boston

Gorillaz 1st tour
Of course I attended that
Where the hell were you?

50P and me
Gotan Project melted face
They gave me goosebumps

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Beck Odelay tour
Let me guess – you missed that too
You guys are hopeless

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Don’t sweat it Octo
No offense ever taken
For being funny

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Ultimate dream show
New York, 1968
Velvet Underground

Catfreeek said...

Niel Young in Japan
speaking to us from the stage
eat that Johnny cakes!

Octopunk said...

Worst band ever saw
Mountain, opened for Triumph
Most hilarious

Drummer threw drumsticks
I mean like two dozen times
Not a special treat

Mountain's lead singer
Was a damn Wolfman Jack clone
Right down to the voice

Here's a real quote: "Some-
times a spark goes up your ass
And it feels reaaaaal good."

Octopunk said...

(Forgive the hyphen
It's bad form and I know it;
That quote must be pure)

Octopunk said...

Thanks for that Johnny
Wasn't sure how that would fly
Also: you're smelly

Catfreeek said...

Last summer Allman's
jammed out with Widespread Panic
up there with best shows

A kick ass concert
'83 U2 at Brown
knew they would be big

BB King, Lupo's
He's old but the man can play
it's mesmerizing

Tony's first mosh pit
Misfits, I just shoved him in
Big smile, bloody nose

Catfreeek said...

They Might Be Giants
ruined by drunken asshole
my friends boyfriend, jerk!

Type O Negative
I'll miss Peter Steele's vocals
Deep like liquid sex

Marilyn Manson
Christian protesters picket
Apple of Sodom

Catfreeek said...

I played bari sax
not very good at it though
should have kept singing

Sang with a rock band
biggest gig at Colt State Park
endless crowd, scary

AC said...

my first dandys show
a sketchy club in philly
makes the top five list

AC said...

my first sir paul show
i was sick and exhausted
still makes the top five

AC said...

just got work email
free justin bieber tickets!
whaddya say, jeff?

(if you don't believe me:

MGH has received 25 pairs of tickets to see Taylor Swift’s “Fearless” Tour, with opening acts Justin Bieber, Kelly Pickler and Gloriana at Gillette Stadium on Saturday, June 5 at 6 pm.

These tickets will be raffled off to 25 lucky MGH employees. If you are interested in entering your name in the raffle, please complete the online entry form by Thursday, June 3 at 5 pm.

Click here to enter:

(Please note that you must be connected to the Partners network to access this form. If you are trying to access the form via VPN and are prompted to enter your username and password, you must type “partners\” before your username, i.e., partners\uit0).

You should only enter the raffle if you are able to attend the concert. Failure to pick up your tickets will result in ineligibility for future raffles. One entry per person. Entries made on behalf of others are accepted, but if the person listed on the e-mail is selected, they will be responsible for picking up their tickets.

Please share this announcement with employees who do not have an e-mail account. Those without access to e-mail may enter the raffle by visiting the Employee Access Center, Bulfinch 107.

Winners will be notified Friday morning, June 4. Tickets must be picked up at the Employee Access Center between noon and 4:30 pm on Friday, June 4.


Octopunk said...

If you please AC
Syllables in that last one
All over the place

50PageMcGee said...

Caught John Lee Hooker
Did any of you see him?
I think not, I win

50PageMcGee said...

Sabbath reunion
Opening acts: Pantera
System of a Down

SOD opened
Frontman: screeching lunatic
Good thing we were late

Then came Pantera
Super fast, super heavy
Beat me to a pulp

What's he saying though?
Sample lyrics: "UH LUH LUH!

Then came the darkness
Sound like heavy black hammers
Sabbath's still got it

After, in a daze
Friend said, "You just got rocked, son"
No feeling like it

Catfreeek said...

Strange experience
The Clash opened for The Cars
tp rolls flying

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Mr. Bungle bliss
Deranged evil clown music
My wet dream come true

HandsomeStan said...

My bro wins hands down
Most Embarrassing Concert:
Milli Vanilli

Two dudes just dancing
And someone just pressing "Play"
That's what you paid for

Young MC opened
At least his mic was open
Bust A Move, indeed

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Off to L.A. Guns
Motorcycle crash witnessed
Guy was messed up bad

We called 911
Lifted the bike off of him
All in a day's work

Handsome Stan and I
Save lives then go off to rock
We're just cool, I guess

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Phish millennium
Mistook fireworks for bombs
Stan led path to death

HandsomeStan said...

Stan held the answers
Sweatpants wouldn't believe him
Just like life, really

HandsomeStan said...

We did save that guy
If Phil Lewis only knew
Would've played "Gypsy"

Saving dude's life? Check.
Being 2 of 10 at show? Check.
We did good that night

JPX said...

Mock them all you want
But KISS puts on a great show
You wanted the best

Paul flies across room
Ace shoots bombs from his guitar
And Gene breathes fire

JPX said...

Judas Priest concert
Giant robot lifts Rob up
Got my money's worth

Motley Crue concert
Tommy Lee drums upside down
Got my money's worth

Awesome Pink Floyd show
Pig flies around stadium
Got my money's worth

Watched The Cure 6 times
Robert singing anything
Got my money's worth

Watched U2/Gillette
Biggest set I've ever seen
Got my money's worth

Yep, met KISS backstage
I had an 'all access' pass
All thanks to AC

Live and Let Die with fire
All thanks to AC

AC/my hero
Takes charge of getting tickets
AC/my hero

JPX said...

Roger Waters show
Will be performing The Wall
AC/my hero

HandsomeStan said...

Zombie & Ozzy
Zombie's stage: fear-inducing
Fire, strippers, robots

Giant wall with fire
Strippers gyrating on poles
Robot dinosaur

Blew him off the stage
Ozzy was just old & lame
Mr. Crowley? Left.

Catfreeek said...

What's with Ozzy's squats
Looked like he's playing leap frog
He's old and insane

Jimmy Buffet show
saw pothead with a briefcase
parrot heads are odd