Class Reunion Massacre

(1977) **

Six high school alumni receive invites to return to their alma mater for a class reunion. Initially, each of the six characters is shown in flashbacks behaving like an asshole. One is a snobby jock that treats his wife and kid badly. Another is a socialite who spends her free time shooting pigeons. There’s a lawyer who defends scumbags, an actor who is demanding and arrogant, and a woman who is twice divorced and likes to hang out in bars. The worst though, is the woman who “chose” to be a lesbian!

After arriving at the school they find that they are the only attendees and the janitor who opens the door for them expresses surprise that they are even there noting that the school has been closed for years (then why is there a janitor?). While there’s music, a dance floor, decorations, and food, there are no people. Soon the 6 start getting killed, presumably because they are being punished for leading such hedonistic lives. The film is bookended in a way that does not really make any sense, involving a 12ish-year old boy rising from a river, taking a bus to church, killing some bratty kid, and returning to the river.

This is a story that relies on an extraordinary set of events coalescing in order for the killer to be able to carry out his plans. For example, he would have to assume that the 6 people he chose to murder were unaware that the school had closed. He has to count on the fact that none of the 6 would bring spouses. He must take for granted the fact that not one of the 6 would be in communication with any other alumni or school faculty to verify this reunion. Also he has to reckon that he’ll be able to isolate each of the 6 in order to murder them one at a time. A silly, stupid film with little payoff, yet engaging enough for me to see how it would all turn out. Skip it.