Thursday, October 20, 2005

Friday the 13th Part II


(1981) ***1/2

Well I'm just gonna come right out and say it. Friday the 13th Part 2 is the best of the bunch. Some people (JPX) refuse to acknowledge its legendary status because of Jason's (let's face it - non-flattering) pillowcase and overalls outfit in lieu of the standard hockey mask. I believe that it showcases the film's charming innocence that was all but lost later in the series.

A plot summary is entirely unnecessary as the script may have been written by a very basic computer program, possibly the one that gave us Pong. Jason goes around killing camp counselors and only she without sin shall survive.

I love the "you're all doomed!" guy in this movie. His is a story that needs to be told. What events and poor choices in his life brought him to the point of wandering around town, filthy and disheveled, his only goal to warn teenagers of their impending doom? Did anyone ever heed his warnings and survive? I'm taking it upon myself to script a short film that answers these very questions.

But the movie really belongs to Mark the wheelchair bound teen in the football jersey - motorcycle accident victim, hopes to recover, penis possibly still functional. He teaches us that Jason doesn't discriminate against the physically challanged. And man, that was a helluva lotta stairs...

So if it's cheap, cheap thrills you're looking for, Part 2 is a solid bet. Unfortunately, every time I began to enjoy myself too much a bubble appeared above me of JPX shaking his head in disappoval. I mean, come on - a pillow case? That's just plain lazy.

10 comments:

JPX said...

Damn straight that Jason is lame! Lame, lame, LAME!!! He's wearing overalls and a pillowcase for crying out loud, that's not scary! Summerisle's love of this film has always perplexed me. It's a pillowcase!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

It's cool, kind of like Paul Stanley in the Bandit makeup!

Octopunk said...

The story implies that the Hero Girl survives because she uses her training in child psychology. Later she would pioneer the "dressing up like the kid's dead mother" technique.

Who's Paul Stanley?

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Paul Stanley - the Star Child, onstage KISS spokesman.

JPX, do you ever treat your patients by dressing up like their dead mothers? It seems like it just might be crazy enough to work!

Before Paul became the Starchild (the one with the star in his eye), he had this stupid looking bandit makeup that was rarely photographed. It was awesome.

JPX said...

Yeah, I liked the "bandit" makeup too, he should've stuck with it - well I guess the star is kind of cool too, kinda.

I like that use of psychology, I may have to try it with some of my crazier people!

Octopunk said...

Oh, I knew who Paul Stanley is already! Bastards, the both of you.

I like that Summerisle considers the early F13s as having "charming innocence." Aww, so cute!

JPX said...

A pillowcase! I'm choking on my own rage here!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

The guy that played Jason in this flick is gonna be at an upcoming nerd convention. We're thinking of going to get him to sign a pillowcase!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

You know, now that I think of it, I don't recall seeing any children in this one? Was it some kind of camp counselor training getaway?

Octopunk said...

My son, you've come to the right place. Part six is the only one that actually has kids at the camp. Parts one, two and six are the only ones that actually take place at a camp. There's some mention of the kids coming "soon" to the camps in one and two, but the counselors are just arriving themselves.

Ah, now I feel useful.

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...