Friday, October 28, 2005
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
This would have been whole lot better if they'd bagged the Manhattan part and just made it "Jason at Sea." This one asks you to swallow a lot, like the notion that although you can get Manhattan radio stations in Crystal Lake, you have to go through open ocean to get there. And even those who dislike NYC will know that it is not an endless rabbit warren of garbage-strewn back alleys in which there's ample toxic waste, rarely-seen inhabitants indifferent to your impending murder, and muggers who like to drag you away and give you their hard-earned drugs for free.
Keeping with the boat theme, Jason is revived when an anchor snags a power cable and inadvertantly jumpstarts him again. Then he heads to a larger boat full of teens on their graduation jaunt to New Yawk, baby! The character setups ring a little more false than usual, thanks largely to demento logic (why would anyone be expected to turn in a biology project on a class trip?) and Principal McCulloch, who is the most dysthymic, cranky man you'd never want to be stuck on a boat with. Every single thing out of this man's mouth is "I'm in charge!" or "no thanks to you!" or of course "stop talking about Jason!" I found myself yelling out loud at his ridiculous rage.
We spend an whole hour on the boat before Jason sinks it, then the five survivors manage to lifeboat through the fog until they see the Statue of Liberty. As soon as they dock the principal's at it again. "You sure picked a great place to dock the boat" he says sarcastically to the student who just saved his ass (because you know he's the first one they would've eaten.) Then Jason hauls himself out of the water to finish them off as they run around Vancouver...uh, I mean Manhattan. Eventually the surviving couple ditch Jason in the sewers as he is drowned in the nightly purging of toxic waste.
They look down afterwards to see a boy Jason, just as he was when he drowned the first time. All right -- that is IT, movie! I've had it with you.