Monday, October 24, 2005
Howling VI: The Freaks
Posted by Octopunk
There's two reasons we watch a straight-to-video series all the way to the grisly end. There's the eensy chance of finding a good-ish movie in the upper numbers (Sorority House Massacre II would be my best example), and then there's the more murky appeal of watching and documenting a train wreck in slow motion.
The Freaks is a Werewolf vs. Vampire story, and if you're into that kind of thing I'm going to go against all previous expectations and suggest you rent Underworld instead. A small town is visited by a reedy, English drifter werewolf who helps the local priest renovate his church. Then a circus rolls into town, led by a foofy vampire who leads an ever-growing army of freaks. Oh wait, did I say army? He has three freaks. One of them is the guy who played all the Oompa Loompas in the recent Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Werewolf boy has some vague grudge against the vamp, but immediately gets his ass handed to him and winds up in a cage. The vampire makes him transform in front of the whole town (looking more like Rob Zombie than a werewolf), but he blows the show by handing Alligator Boy's cat back to him instead of eating it.
Watching this, I was amazed at what loser examples of monsters these guys were. The werewolf guy takes a nap on the day of the full moon and oversleeps. He wakes up, says "oh no!" and immediately runs to the window and whips the curtains aside, dowsing himself in full moonness. And what kind of vampire lives in an RV and has seat cushions on top of his coffin?
at 11:48 AM