Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Embalmer


The spitting image of Skeletor, a man clad in a skull mask and cloak is kidnapping women off the canals of Venice and dragging them into his secret lair. Why? Because he’s collecting beautiful women and embalming them with his secret formula in order to preserve their beauty forever. He keeps his collection up against a wall. Reporter Andreas has been following the missing girls cases closely and eventually concludes that a serial killer is on the loose. The bumbling police department ignores Andreas’ theory, chalking up the disappearances to drowning in the canal. The killer operates at night by wearing a scuba outfit and sneaking up on the girls from underwater.

This was basically a painful exercise to get through because it was so redundant. In every other scene the killer grabs a woman, drags her to his underwater lair, and embalms her. Yawn. The funniest thing is that the killer only wears his Skeletor mask and cloak when he’s in his lair, embalming his victims. His victims are already dead, having drowned after he kidnapped them. The question becomes, for whose benefit is his costume for? That’s like Bruce wearing his Batman costume when he’s home chilling with Grayson. Total dreck.


captain_howdy_girl said...

I don't know where to put this comment so I'm going to put it here.

Hope you do the evil dead series soon. I want to make little bruce campbell babies.

I had a horror movie blog for a short time but it was too much work. You are doing a great job here.

Octopunk said...

I reviewed Evil Dead recently, but you have to hit the October archives in the sidebar to see it (we've been filling up the blog rapidly). Evil Dead 2 to come soon!