Saturday, October 10, 2015

The Visitor


Abduscias and I sat down to pick a move to watch together, we got excited when we happened on a Lance Henriksen film that neither of us had seen or even heard of. We now understand why. Evil has reared its ugly head this time in the for of an 8 year old girl. Intergalactic warrior Christ must intervene and stop the evil forces before they destroy the world.

It seems like the girl's main target is her mother, she succeeds in crippling her but the woman just keeps plugging along. I'm not exactly sure what evil was gaining by crippling her either since she was the one and only woman in the world with the magic vagina that could pop out demonically possessed children. Lance was given the task of wooing and impregnating her because and evil daughter just wasn't good enough, Satan wanted a son.

 Intergalactic God is sent down to intervene while intergalactic Christ stays in his space room chilling out with a bunch of bald kids. Seriously, who thinks this shit up? There are shining moments throughout the film that give it the ever so slight glimmer of hope. Like this classic exchange:

Detective Jake Durham: Now listen to me Katy isn't there something you want to tell me?
Katy Collins: Yeah. Go fuck yourself!
Detective Jake Durham: Katy, I know you know something that was in that package, now tell me what it is and I won't bother you anymore.
Katy Collins: Okay I will tell you but you might have to write it down. Are you ready?
Katy Collins: Shove it up your ass!

It's these shining moments in the film that caught us off guard and made it at least palatable to get through til the end. What really ruins the film beyond recovery is the horrible overblown soundtrack. It's like watching an old karate film without the karate. Here, see for yourself in this epic trailer:


DKC said...

That trailer is hilarious!! "The Mt. Everest of insane 70's Italian movies." Ha!

Abduscias said...

Lol..I've been pondering on when to write this one up! I laugh every time I'm about to!

Octopunk said...

Um, if your goal was to not make people see it you screwed up by including that trailer. I think I have to see it now.

AC said...

What, more SBIG?? Catfreeek, is that one of your themes this year?

Catfreeek said...

Not what I've been shooting for.