(2008)
Based on a Clive Barker short story and directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, The Midnight Meat Train serves horror fans a delicious splatter sandwich with a side order of spicy mystery fries. Unfortunately for dessert the only items on the menu this evening are disappointment pie and crap a la mode.
Vinnie “I’m the Juggernaut bitch” Jones is well cast as a serial killer dubbed the Subway Butcher. Armed with a hook and a meat pulverizer, his victims on the late train rarely see him coming until their skulls are bashed into oblivion or their innards spilt. Prepare yourself for over the top (occasionally noticeably CGI) gore. When people are punched they spew Rocky IV like blood. One poor soul slips on her boyfriend’s eyeball before getting (literally) whacked. No shortage of grossness here.
One peculiarity of The Midnight Meat Train is that the only person hell bent on capturing the butcher is not a detective, not the train conductor or even a grieving family member of a victim. Instead we’re given a struggling artist who’s deal is that he’s obsessed with the idea of capturing the heart of the city through photography. This is by no means a detriment to the film though because Leon’s okay and he has a stunning girlfriend. He learns the hard way that stalking a serial killer is foolishly dangerous.
I was really enjoying this movie in spite of its weaknesses (which also include an absurd number of coincidences as well as the irritating laziness of the cops). I was very much in the mood for a simple, nasty serial killer flick. The unrealistic violence was almost a relief after those unspeakably gory French movies I’ve been on about this month. But suddenly within the last 15 minutes the wheels come off in the form of a magnificently stupid plot development that was never even hinted at in the first hour and a half. “They can’t just throw in some insane bullshit that changes everything like that!”, I shouted to my cat. Rowan just kind of looked up at me, slightly puzzled, but I like to think that she agreed. Anyway three gretchens is generous but that's just the kind of guy I am.
Oh, and Brooke Shields lends her uselessness to the film.
10 comments:
"Oh, and Brooke Shields lends her uselessness to the film." No truer words have been spoke this Horrorthon season. I might be in the minority but I have NEVER understood the appeal of the mannish Shields. She's not a good actress, she's not funny, and I don't find her the least bit attractive.
Nice review but I still can't tell whether or not you recommend watching it.
I'd recommend it to you JPX, but not most people. It falls into the take-it-or-leave-it category. I found it very entertaining even though I was outraged by the ending.
The one thing I like Brooke Shields in is a movie called Freeway, a nasty piece of work starring Reese Witherspoon and Keifer Sutherland. But I think I like Brooke in that mostly for the irony (I'd explain, but I'd ruin stuff).
i think it's because she did this.
I was actually interested in this movie - even with the high gore factor - because it didn't seem to have the extremeness of Hostel, et al. What do you think JSP? Would I run screaming?
Brooke Shields is weird.
Brooke was in the controversial Pretty Baby, which is notable because in several scenes she walks around completely nude and she was only 12-years old.
Yeah, I think you can handle it DCD. The violence borders on cartoonish. For example, he can decapitate someone with one blow with the meat pulverizer.
I'd love to hear your take!
so we're weighing the relative merits of bloody deaths and being decapitated with a meat pulverizer somehow falls on the "easy" side of the spectrum. god, i love you guys.
Have you guys seen that classic picture of Vinnie Jones when he's grabbing Paul Gascgoine's package during a game?
I saw the movie in the freebies section of my cable's on demand section this weekend. Like you said, it was good until the final twist revelation that had me going, "No really...you're joking right."
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