Wednesday, March 03, 2010

HHD: The Field Trip!



There was something strangely surreal about the school field trip. Most school days involve a programmed, predictable schedule. However, once in a blue moon children are given the greatest news ever, “We will be going on a field trip”. Ah, the field trip, a chance to broaden one’s horizons and learn about something new hands-on. As if. The field trip was essentially a day off from school, except it’s a day off from school with your teacher and everyone you went to school with, and if you were unlucky, with your mom as a chaperone.



By now I’ve probably mentioned my field trip lament a half a dozen times. For reasons unknown Rhode Island is home to the Hasbro Toy factory. When I was in first grade my class was going to go on a field trip to Hasbro to learn how toys were made. As you might imagine this is just about the greatest news a young boy might ever hear in a lifetime. Who am I kidding; it would be the greatest news even at my current age. On the morning of the big field trip I woke up scratching. Yep, I had the chicken pox and I missed the field trip. A week or two later when I returned to school the teacher gave me a Weeble. Apparently the class learned how Weebles were manufactured. My only consolation was that the rest of the class developed chicken pox soon after I returned.



I generally have a terrible memory (it’s pretty scary, actually), but I remember every single school field trip. It’s called flashbulb memory and it’s why you all remember where you were when the space shuttle blew up or when Princess Diana perished. I don’t have a lot of fond memories of school (years of being bullied and a very average academic record are not things I like to think about), but I recall the joy of the field trip. Granted I live in Rhode Island and there are not too many interesting field trip opportunities in the near vicinity, but still, I’ll never forget those outings.



So where did your field trips take you? What were your best outings? Your worst? The most bizarre? Come on Horrorthonners, I’m in a bad mood, cheer me up with your haikus!

47 comments:

Catfreeek said...

My favorite place
Goethe-Institut Boston
a German class perk

A fun filled day out
Cookies & O' Tanenbaum
a huge Christmas tree

The tree all lit up
with real candles top to toe
must have been some task

Day of no English
My German was not that good
Think I missed a lot

Catfreeek said...

Yankee Doodler trip
Grand mother of all field trips
One whole fun filled week

Nightmare for teachers
Colonial Williamsburg
They sold us all beer

Drunken teens raging
Tearing up the hotel rooms
puking in the halls

AC said...

grade school, plymouth rock?
the teacher fell, broke her arm
they say she was drunk

HandsomeStan said...

Harrisburg grade school
Hershey 30 minutes east
Field trip holy land

The Washington Trip
Nothing of value learned, save:
Don't drink Jolt at night

Big JSP fight
Threw fat kid's undies at me
While I was sleeping

Underwear was wet
Eight grade murderous hatred
Worst roommate ever

HandsomeStan said...

Sigh. "Eighth."

HandsomeStan said...

6th grade class ski trip
Threw up on the bus ride there
Oh, the sheer horror

JPX said...

I had weird field trips
Coke Cola Company
Mystery of Coke solved

We saw it bottled
And watched a shitty short film
I had a free Coke

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Old Sturbridge Village
The most boring place on earth
Let’s bring the children

HandsomeStan said...

The Milk Factory
Free samples at conclusion
We all picked chocolate

The Bread Factory
Baking bread smells very strange
Don't care what they say

The Box Factory
Passed by the Slide Factory
These boxes hold nails

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Please sir, leave me be
19th century accents
Give me a headache

I’m a kid dammit
I don’t care for cider mills
Nor the Old Towne House

HandsomeStan said...

Back to Washington
Scavongelli's underwear
It was WET, damn you

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Shame on you Handsome!
Dragging my good name through mud
I did no such thing

JPX said...

Went to Colt State Park
Slipped and fell in the ocean
Springthorpe yelled at me

Bleech, 'nature' field trips
A lazy, boring outing
Show me a jungle

Julie said...

First grade, Memphis zoo.
Saw a rhinoceros pee
Buckets and buckets.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I do not recall
The “Underwear Incident”
But I’m not sorry

It’s hilarious
And you must have deserved it
Also – it’s funny

Good name for a band
“Scavongelli’s Underwear”
Ok, maybe not

HandsomeStan said...

I'm sure it was you
Undies didn't throw themselves
Unless...was it Scav?

Memory hazy
Attacked Pants for SOME reason
You stole my Skittles?

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Plymouth Rock bore-fest
You call that an attraction?
It’s only a rock

AC said...

junior high outing
viewing "the wiz" at showcase
worst. field trip. ever.

JPX said...

A.C. sees The Wiz
That flick's 'educational'?
Ease on down indeed

Catfreeek said...

Unlike in my day
My kids had awesome field trips
to nice restaurants

We got McDonald's
they all cringed at the rest stop
when the bus pulled in

JPX said...

Ben has good field trips
Fenway Park, Boston Museum
I just got 'nature'

Catfreeek said...

The Smithsonian
wax cavemen & dinosaurs
a bore fest for teens

Bus took a wrong turn
bad neighborhood, saw a whore
beating up a guy

We all took pictures
most exciting thing we saw
that bitch kicked his ass

Imagine a bus
filled with white Barrington teens
in DC's ghetto

HandsomeStan said...

The golden ticket
Without it, stomach plummets:
The permission slip

Catfreeek said...

Aaah permission slips
I was the class go to girl
resident forger

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Salem Witch Museum
Death, torture, hysteria
All made tedious

How disappointing
Came here to see witches burn
Not courtroom drama

Catfreeek said...

Roger Williams zoo
Trying to make llamas spit
by spitting at them

HandsomeStan said...

Miss class, go watch plays
That thingy's name escapes me
Subscription Series?

Skipped out on the play
Cruised Thayer Street for hours
Slipped right back on bus

JPX said...

"It's fun to find out
What your voice really sounds like"
I must disagree

Do Orlando kids
Take field trips to Disney World?
I went to 'nature'

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Artifacts you say?
Tools, utensils, furniture?
Fuck you Old Sturbridge

Johnny Sweatpants said...

You have a tin shop
But tin shops don't interest me
Bite a dick, Sturbridge

HandsomeStan said...

A college spring break
Disney World, bag of mushrooms
Awesomest field "trip"

Sidewalks lighting up
Talking water fountains (swear)
I learned quite a bit

Octopunk said...

Alton Jones slogan
Was "you pick it, you eat it"
Endlessly funny

Bricks, rocks, car bumpers
Kept escalating the joke
Ignored the lessons

AC said...

johnny's too hostile,
proves reaction formation;
johnny hearts sturbridge!

Octopunk said...

So many field trips
Back to Alton Jones, yay
Our box factory

Octopunk said...

Once at Alton Jones
I saw JPX drink cup
Of salad dressing

HandsomeStan said...

Circle now complete:
Ski trip bus-barfing moment?
Alton Jones sweatshirt

DCD said...

Subscription series!
I think that's right, HandsomeStan.
That was a good one.

I recall we got
out of school a LOT. Not bad
for drama club geeks.

DCD said...

I'm with JSP,
Sturbridge village sucks! Long-ass
bus ride to nowhere.

DCD said...

Chorus exchange trip.
Toronto? Cool! Ten hour
bus ride? Pure torture!

Had the seat next to
the john. Ten hours of stink.
Sweaty geeks and shit.

Octopunk said...

Hey... Weebles wobble
But they don't get chicken pox
Ha ha JPX

Octopunk said...

Fake pilgrims scared me
Old lady sat in the dark
She talked of "vapors"

HandsomeStan said...

Stench of bus bathroom
Stared at Colleen O'Brien
Crap. Linked forever.

Mr. AC said...

Limbless plastic gimps
Start of JPX's fear?
Weebles equal stumps

AC said...

i loved alton jones
never had field trip there though
now i feel deprived

though not on field trip
had first kiss at alton jones
forgotten till now

octo, may we learn
dressing-chugging backstory?
or its consequence?

Mr. AC said...

"Field Trip Episode"
Facts of Life in NYC
Tootie turns hooker

Octopunk said...

We walked among them
Did they see the cars out there?
Should I point them out?

Octopunk said...

(The Pilgrims, I mean)
Years later: "They were actors!"
I have no excuse