Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Haiku Hump Day: Dream Dinner Party

Firstly, here's the topic: If you could host a cocktail party and invite any guest, living or dead, who would you choose? Why?

Nextly, I'm still playing with the layout but the Haiku Hump Day Archive page is now fully operational. You're welcome.

Here's some fluff to flesh out this post.

You wake up in the middle of the night after hearing a disturbing sound coming from the basement. At first you dismiss it as your imagination but then it gets louder. As you listen more intently you determine that it is unmistakably the sound of an elderly woman laughing. You grab the baseball bat next to your bed, take a deep breath and slowly head down the stairs to investigate.

“Who’s there!?” you shout in your bravest voice as you reach the bottom step. You turn to your left and see none other than Millvina Dean, the recently deceased last survivor of the Titanic.



"But.. you're dead!" you exclaim. "You must be a... g-g-g-ghost!" Millvina finds this quite amusing for some reason and she cackles maniacally for about 20 seconds, though it feels like an eternity. The laughter is then replaced by awkward silence. Finally you muster up the strength to ask her why she has returned from the grave.

"I have the power to resurrect anyone who has ever lived and I want to throw a dinner/cocktail party", she explains. "Who would you like to invite, Cupcake?"

So that's the topic you waited an extra week for. It’s a question that you have probably been asked before but I suspect never in haiku form. Think about it. Who would you love to meet? Who fascinates you? Who could provide you with a deep understanding with their first hand account of to the past? Who would you like to see in the same room together? Who would be fun to get drunk and pass out in the hallway with? What would they bring?

Go!

46 comments:

AC said...

i'd start with jesus
i know, agnostic jew here
but i have questions

AC said...

and then socrates
wise, but also a wise-ass
and he loved his wine

AC said...

amelia earhart
i bet she's a lively guest
loaded with stories

JPX said...

Lunch with George Lucas
A childhood dream come true?
A let down I'm sure

Lunch with Gene Simmons?
Instead of talking 'bout KISS
He'd steal Whirlygirl

With Mickey Dolenz
You'd be sure to have some laughs
He'd pick on Davey

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Shakespeare, meet Paris
Here's a gun to shoot yourself
You'll thank me for it

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Thank you Bea Arthur
This cheesecake is delicious
Have you met Dawkins?

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Impress me Jesus -
Turn this water into wine.
Hmm. Just as I thought…

Octopunk said...

Had Shakespeare over
He pounded all of my wine
Dick jokes all night long

Octopunk said...

Invited Earhart
She said she'd be right over
Bitch never showed up

AC said...

pryor, hedberg, hicks
morrison, hendrix, joplin
each with drug of choice

Whirlygirl said...

Shakespeare came to dine
slammed my place of employment
kill all the lawyers

Octopunk said...

Salvador Dali
Ate rice and melted my clock
With his heat vision

JPX said...

I'd want Del Griffith
Life of the party, that guy
Do the mess-around!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Gotcha good Reagan
Brought you back just to kill you
Enjoy your poison

I’d love to meet him
The first homo sapien
Probably hairy

Timothy Leary
Your Kool Aid tastes very good
The walls are breathing

Octopunk said...

I'd invite Lincoln
Hear truth 'bout those aliens
In "Area 4"

HandsomeStan said...

Last Supper re-do
Everyone sit on THAT side
Lean sideways & stuff

HandsomeStan said...

"We would be honored..."
A Sith Lord AND a good host
Cloud City dining

Octopunk said...

Is fictional good?
Rambo, Snake, Captain Nemo
Fight for last crumpet

HandsomeStan said...

Just invite Jesus
No need to grocery shop
Just bring fish & loaf

HandsomeStan said...

Justice League dinner
Who invited Aquaman?!?
I'm cooking seafood!

Octopunk said...

Check list: Bart Simpson
Elmo, and Monstro the whale
Now my chef hates me

Octopunk said...

Welcome, cast of Cheers
Your meal is right through this door
(Then I brick it up)

Johnny Sweatpants said...

A drinking contest
Andre vs. Handsome Stan
Pay Per View worthy

HandsomeStan said...

Whole new direction
My Dinner With Andre II:
Liquid Dinner Death

Catfreeek said...

I'd like to start with
Frank Zappa and Tipper Gore
let the games begin

Mix and match for fun
Howard Stern dines with Oprah
My money's on Stern

Jesus and Carl Marx
That's some conversation
Mixing church and state?

HandsomeStan said...

Welcome, Pac Family
Enjoy this platter of dots
Dessert: BANANA!

Catfreeek said...

Hunter S. Thompson
Starts as a nice quaint dinner
wind up chasing bats

I'd like Stephen King
to tell campfire stories
then no one would sleep

For a real party
I'd invite Caligula
party animal!

Catfreeek said...

Dine with Dracula
A bag of blood and a glass
means easy clean up

Frankenstein's monster
just don't light any candles
or he'll freak right out

Catfreeek said...

Invited Noah
Couldn't wait for him to leave
He smelled like horse piss

Adam & Eve came
served them some hot apple pie
it's sinfully good

Then there was Judas
oh what a mistake that was
he just hung around

HandsomeStan said...

Darwin. Also God.
No awkward silences here
Let's sort this shit out

Catfreeek said...

Invited Santa
Planned on a dinner for four
He brought 40 elves

Those fucking elf dudes
drank all my wine, screwed my cats
and clogged the toilet

Santa was laughing
Jolly old fart that he is
he came without toys!

Catfreeek said...

Bringing back the dead
I'd like to meet John Lennon
Leave Yoko at home

Jerry Garcia
I'd break out the real good stuff
A baked jam session

Catfreeek said...

Neurotic diners
Larry David with Seinfeld
and Woody Allen

HandsomeStan said...

Naked dream dinner:
Erin Grey, feed me more grapes.
Trinity, more beer.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

John was a genius
But was known to be a prick
Lousy dinner guest

Johnny Sweatpants said...

(My original intention didn’t include fictional characters but what the hell.)

Han Solo, Pee Wee
Batman, Dale Cooper, Satan
Abortion: discuss

Octopunk said...

Han Solo and Indy
Rick Deckard and Jack Ryan
And Doc Kimble. Cheers!

I heard that H Ford
Really likes the wacky weed
Good! No leftovers

AC said...

fictional heaven:
nero wolfe, archie goodwin,
and fritz brenner cooks

AC said...

awesome or awful:
sid vicious and sid barrett
and the two dead gibbs

Catfreeek said...

I'd like to hang with
Austin Powers for a night
Ga-roo-vy Baybay

Forget the dinner
want a Willy Wonka tour
Lick some Snozzberries

Dinner with Aslan?
Better host, Mr. Tumnus
His crib was way cool

Catfreeek said...

JPX nightmare
Dinner with the cast from Grease
Musical Mayhem

JSP Nightmare
A dinner with Nickleback
The Pope & JarJar

Catfreeek said...

Ultimate dinner
with Millvina & Gretchen
oh the tales they'd tell

Catfreeek said...

Worst party ever
Tom Cruise, Beck, L. Ron Hubbard
Not buying their shit!

JPX said...

Dinner with Gretchen
Little time, many questions
Please do not kill me

HandsomeStan said...

X-Men Thanksgiving
Pyro cooks, Wolverine carves
X thinks about stuff

Catfreeeek dream dinner
Romero, Craven, & King
And 8 talking cats

HandsomeStan said...

Stan's dream dinner date:
Quiet night with MrsX
Kidding. Really, KISS.