Thursday, September 30, 2010

Whirlygirl's stratégie de film

Last Horrorthon I watched two French films: Martyrs and Inside (I don’t think I wrote a review on either), and I came to the conclusion that the French are sicker than I ever imagined. At the last moments before Horrorthon, I decided not to fly theme less, but instead find out how crazy these bastards really are. I’ve put together what I hope will be an entertaining and disgusting list. For those of you who have seen Martrys, Inside, and Frontiers, you know that there will be blood…lots and lots of blood, but what you may or may not know is that there will also be an abundance of nudity and lesbians, as well as a female vampire that drains the blood of her victims while performing oral sex. I’m anxiously awaiting a viewing of the most walked out of film of 2002, and crossing my fingers that I don’t become violently ill watching a film about a woman obsessed with her own wounds and self-mutilation.

Though, unfortunately, it won’t be all French for me this October. Austin movie theaters show a plethora of Horror films from the famous to the obscure for a buck all month long, so I certainly have to catch a few, and since the local libraries don’t exactly subscribe to French horror, I might have to get what I can from them when Netflix doesn’t send me my French flicks quick enough.

13 comments:

DKC said...

More power to you for watching the gross stuff! Cause I probably won't.

That red text is kind of a killer. Heh.

JPX said...

Wow, Whirlygirl, you look freakishly scary in that picture! I get a Ring vibe from it. You look like you're floating off the ground - how did you achive that "tv screen" look? Never mind, I'm sure I won't understand all your fancy talk. i don't think I can ever go near that bridge again!

I love that you're going all French this year (or mostly French). This is certainly an area lacking on the Monster List, although JSP discovered some instant classics last year. I look forward to reading your reviews - just make sure you write them!

Catfreeek said...

Awesome picture and awesome theme, you get the Catfreeek seal of approval. I cannot wait to ready your reviews.

Catfreeek said...

Read not ready, I must be getting excited for the show tonight! Yay!

Octopunk said...

I was all "Oh my god she photoshopped her legs out and replaced them with bizarre prosthetics!" Clicking on the picture reveals your sartorial bizarrity.

Were I to finish my 2009 reviews before 2010's contest (I'm not), Martyrs would be next. Don't worry, I will write it up. We may all have robot butlers by then, but I'm determined.

Point being... yay for F-horror! Those frogs are sick. And I love the dolla horra opportunity.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Whirly you’re not the only one who cowardly avoided reviewing Martyrs last year. JPX, Octo & 50 Page should bow their heads in shame also. Martyrs has achieved legendary status in a year. What a fucked up movie. I can’t wait to see the crappy American version when it’s done!

So wait – is the self mutilator and the vampire blowjob in the same movie? And why didn’t you divulge the titles? They sound awesome. Are you afraid that I’m so going to scoop them from you and post reviews before you so that by the time your review is posted everyone will go “yeah whatever – Sweatpants already bagged this one”? Because that’s precisely what I’m going to do!

50PageMcGee said...

whoa whoa whoa. hold the phone there, pants. i didn't review martyrs because i didn't watch it till november. what would i have applied it towards? pilgrimthon?

i'm in your corner on this too, whirly. there's a wave of great horror flicks with serious teeth coming out of france these days, as well as a trove of memorable classics like eyes without a face and j'accuse.

my curiosity stoked by this thread, i turned to google to see if there were a list somewhere of good french horror flicks et bien sur, je l'ai trouvé.

http://www.eeriebooks.com/blog/horror-movies/50-must-see-french-horror-movies/

you might have all of these queued already.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Perhaps you could have posted it on Shutthehellupathon?

JPX said...

Is it wrong to think that you look hot dead, Whirly?

50PageMcGee said...

oh i'm going to. and just to be sure you read it, i'm going to backlink it to limesandlemonstastethesameormaybeit'sjustthati'madumbassathon

50PageMcGee said...

see, even blogspot can't handle how crazy it is that you think lemons and limes taste the same.

50PageMcGee said...

and jpx, as a therapist, you know that it's only crazy if you find some way of acting upon it.

Whirlygirl said...

Sweatpants, didn't I hear that you have your own theme, which would mean you don't need to steal from me.

50, thanks for the list. I did see all of those. I wish I could watch them all, but I'm not Catfreeek, so I won't have time to watch that many, and some of them are not easily available. Luckily, I have a movie store near me that has a large section of foreign horror organized by director.

JPX, I just don't know what to say to you.

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