Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride (aka: The Satanic Rites of Dracula)

(1974) ***

Long in the tooth at this point, vampire films were on the way out. Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride was Hammer’s final attempt to revive the increasingly irrelevant Dracula mythos. Fortunately Hammer was able to bring out his best weapon for this last outing, the dynamic duo of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.

Picture it, London, early 70s. The coppers believe that they have discovered a case of vampirism and they seek the counsel of local vampire expert Van Helsing. Van Helsing’s investigation uncovers a secret society of vampire lovers financed by rich and powerful government figures. Of course these people don’t really know whom they’re working for ( but we do). Following the vampire trail Van Helsing discovers their boss, yep, it’s Dracula and he has a strange plan this time around. Apparently tired of eternal life and all that jazz, Dracula decides to unleash a plague upon the world, which would enable him to die with everyone else going with him. What a jerk.

Rather than go it alone this time out, Dracula has wisely enlisted the aid of a number of evil characters including a Chinese woman who performs the actual satanic rituals with a sharp knife, 4 or 5 hot vampire brides chained to the wall in Drac’s basement, members of the British government, and a gaggle of motorcycle riding, gun toting henchmen clad in matching sheepskin vests (God how I tried to find a picture of that!) Here are the “brides” though.

I’m not sure if they’re trying to kill her or cop a feel

I love the original Universal Dracula movies but I’m generally not a Dracula enthusiast. However, Christopher Lee is just such a joy to watch that he makes these silly films a fun time. Grand Moff Tarkin is also fun to watch and his scenes with Lee alone make this film worth watching. Oh yeah, there are some boobs too.